Source of inspiration

Book is regard highly in my family but in the early days, to buy a book was not a norm. One factor was the price which would be easily outdone by newspapers.

Living in the family of lower class income, I understood the situation then. Having enough meals on the table everyday was far more important than purchasing a book. Sensibly, sleeping with empty stomach was worst than to not have a single book in the house. Indeed, because children need enough nutrients for the growth of the brain. Adding to the fact that source of knowledge is not only limited to the books, to opt out the importance of book and treated it as a luxury was the appropriate choice then. Hence, my childhood’s reading materials were filled with newspapers and text books of my aunties who were living next door and in their secondary schooling.

Since studying science was considered high class and of course, costly during those times, I was left with no choice to fulfill my free times but to read history text books, Malay literatures (such as Hikayat Malim Demang) and something on economics. And yes, that was because my Aunties, both were art’s students studying history and economics and it was expected to find those books in their houses. At that time, I was around 8 years old.

Being exposed too young to histories of Malaysia and world, it becomes one of my subjects of interest. Not because it is natural for me but because I always yearned for a story. It was easy to remember histories by taking it that way.

The first official history class that I took was when I was in Sultanah Asma Secondary School. I still can recall vividly my history teacher who was also a tennis coacher. During those classes, he would stand by the window with a book on his right hand and the other hand was in his trousers pocket. As far as I can remember, he never look at to the book. I guess the book was there just to make him felt more comfortable. Standing, him slightly facing the window made him look handsome under the morning silhouette. He rarely made eyes contact with the students (all girls). Nevertheless, his cool and calm personality brought out a distinguished gentleman persona around him. We respected him very much. I never witnessed him raised his voice or heard, but once, any story of him coming out of character, and that story still very absurd to me to this very minute.

He used to read (or more correctly, to profess because words just flow out of his mouth) us the history lesson in the class (there was no usual teaching process) and we then obediently wrote every sentence down on our notes book. Though the processes of listening and writing surely had bored some of us to death and made few slept through, but I was not complaining then, or now. It was all good for my SRP examination because he simplified the story and made it easier for us or to me in particularly to understand, remembers and then scored the examination. Yes, I am talking about study to pass examination. Certainly, among the best things about being in the best school was that I can gained access to the best teacher who knew the best about which questions would usually coming out for the national exam. I had straight A’s as a result.

Many people have been preaching about Malaysian schooling. Obviously, there are many good points of studying; real study, not just to pass an examination. I agree of that to the core. However, if we look at ‘knowledge’ carefully, it is not the matter of how the teachers teach but how the students churned the information. Teacher is not there to teach people to think or behave, parents are responsible for that. Teacher is just a guide, a source of inspiration. You can lead a horse to water but you cannot make it drink.

I believe that there is a thin line of Malaysian education on study to pass examination and study for the sake of studying. Do you think that all the mat rempits will love to study if they need not sit for examination?

Here in Japan, we have several creams of the crop of Malaysian students who were sent here with a scholarship and yet still not being able to bring themselves to study. Can we then blame the Japan teaching system? This system had successfully brought out millions of scholars and some of them are Noble awards receivers.

My point is that we should not treat any social problem in Malaysia just by simply looking from a single point of view.

All the successes that I had were not mine alone because they belong to my parents, ancestors, extended families, friends and the last but not the least, my teachers. The image of flying Mathematics notes book across the room going through the door of my primary school class still touched me dearly until today. Nevertheless, my late teacher, Cikgu Habsah was still my first source of inspiration.

There was a case where I was slapped on the back of my body by my English teacher for not being able to spell ‘chocolate’ but it was a shame for me, so that I cannot bring myself to tell my parents about the whole incident. It popped out of my mouth several years back while we were talking about my teacher who happened to be blood related. But no, I was indebted to them forever, no looking back in anger for me.

If only all quarters can take more responsibilities on coaching the young ones and stop the blaming game, I can see a brighter future. I am included. If not, our country is becoming old before it becomes adult because most of the young men will die in the freak motorcycle accidents.

The Prof

He was out of the lab and the country for more than half of the time starting from the end of last month. I was like, 'Wow!' but my short holidays in the lab is coming to an end. Tomorrow onward, he will be around, pacing in and out of this room. I am looking forward for September next year to get out of this misery (and get myself into another misery? hehe!). Wait! Next year is just 9 more days to go! Horray! So, it is going to be another 9 months. Can't wait!

Of foot pain and snowboarding

The International Student Office of Tokushima University plans one day ski trip to Tottori next month.

I was looking forward to tag along. Then, something happened to my right foot. The same symptom of foot pain reoccurred. Previously, it had gone away for almost 6 months after I took few steps as suggested in one of the website including changed the exhausted sport shoes and did a special feet exercise every morning. Last weekend the pain which was known as Plantar Fasciitis came back haunting me. Probably due to long hours standing in the lab or the coldness had caused stiffness to the muscles. The later reason was intended as a joke. Sigh!

If you know that it requires strong leg muscles to stand on the two feet for snowboarding then you will realize that having foot pain is a warning sign of better not to go.

Thus, I decided to give the trip a pass though I had been thinking about going for sometime. Yeah, last year snowboard trip to Nagano probably the last one.

If only the pain go away soon…

We never know what future bring us but usually one has to be content with what life has to offer.

Natural born reader

I am no legend but there was a story told by my mother emphasizing the fact that I am a natural born reader. It all happened when I was a toddler, aged around 1 year old.

During that fateful morning, I was left on my own, somewhere on the floor nearby the brother-in-law of my great grandfather who was to look after me. He was sitting on the floor reading newspapers, by putting the newspaper on the floor.

The Malay houses during the 70s were made of wood, and rarely had couch to sit on to. Thus, normally everyone would sat on the wooden floor covered with a tikar.

As he was so into the reading, out of blue I was said to crawl slowly on to the newspapers. And instead of crumpled the newspapers, as any toddler would do, I look at the words written on the paper as if I was reading. At the end, he took me unto his lap and we read the newpapers together. He was so taken aback with the whole thing and mentioned this to my mother later.

So, you can see now how reading is part of me. Sigh! I will read everything as long as there are sentences written across the paper, which is well-known amongst my family and closest extended family, and my friends. Sometimes to the extend that it annoyed them.

Oppss! Forgot to mention that playing was also one of my hobbies but being the only rose amongst the thorns in the village, I was strongly advice not to crawl too far from home.

A perfume's tale of a single woman

Last month, somewhere along the Kawaramachi Street of Kyoto; Ila, Sue, Dr B and I stop to smell the perfumes at one of the shops. There were two perfume shops that I had made frequent visit whenever I went to Kyoto city because of numbers of branded perfumes that can be found there plus the prices were reasonable. Some of the international brands perfumes were on-sale that day. Most likely that due to koyou season (visiting/ experiencing the changes of leaves colours), the owners expected many visitors and thus decided to cut-down prices of some of the perfumes. A good business strategy I would say.

The reason I was there was to buy a perfume for my mother. When I went home last spring, I got her one but she said the scent doesn’t last long. Since she rarely asked me for anything and partly because her birthday was around the corner, I wanted to shop for a perfume with a special fragrance just for her. After going through sniffing more than two dozens perfume, I got her a Lancôme, a Miracle for her. And the verdict, she just loves it!

While browsing and inhaling dozens of fragrances, I said something to Dr B, who was at that time proposing me a few nice fragrances of the perfumes. Her answer triggered me to think and later to write this post.

It was when we were trying a man’s perfume, I said something like ‘Man’s body odor smell strongly that make them in-need of strong smell of perfume.’ Lelaki busuk, kena bau perfume yang kuat sikit.

Her reply was, ‘You’re not married yet?’ Che na tak kawin lagi?

Her response made me think of man and me. How on earth did she relate me, my statement and marriage? It was a time for self reflection.

I never think too highly of men but I do not think badly about them either. I respected men with knowledge but I do think most men odor is stink.

Am I so reclusive of man because I am all against them and at the end left me unmarried?

There were and are many men in my life. I have two brothers, the only siblings that I have. I have too many men in life, so to speak, which included countless numbers of uncles and cousins. Oh! Those are persons that I can’t get married to.

For marriage prospects, I had met a few good men.

But I think marriage is just not on my card of destiny as yet. We do believe in faith, don’t we?

Being singles never bothers me unless someone come up to me and keeps pestering me about my marriage or her marriage. I am just not into it, yet. Furthermore, I do not want to spend my time whining about being single. I have many things to do while I am single! One of them, find my own happiness. I do not think it is wise to put all the happiness in a basket of marriage. We shall be happy by ourselves or with others. In short, if we choose to be happy, we are happy regardless the life that we are in. Read Elizabeth "Liz" Murray life story for instance. She is one of the people who are an excellent example of making choices in life.

I am afraid of marriage. Yes, of course. Why? I can see divorces take place everyday and the reason behind it does not help either. Yes, especially if you read the Malaysian newspapers and some assemblymen in Terengganu added the scarier notion of it.

What the heck with marriages in Terengganu? Body odor? Pyjamas? Those two have become common factors behind the divorces in the state of Terengganu. Dear God, please bless me. And recently, the Tiger of the Woods did make me think more than twice about marriage.

And I have a very fragile heart too. If people talk to me in high notes, it will kill me instantly. In short, I simply hate to quarrel! Yet, I don’t think in life there is perfect couple that will always agree with one another.

Above all, I don’t trust people easily. This make it hard for me to fall head over heal with someone. Afterall, falling in love and marriage are all about opening one heart. Oh! Am I such a freak? Maybe I do or a little, probably. Sigh! I just don’t know.

Am I feminist? No. I don’t believe that man is evil or woman is oppressed. We have that problem of women oppression since past centuries and thing is changing for the better.

If anyone read the history, earlier women were not allowed to vote because men of power consider that women can’t think for themselves and then not able to make correct choice. Wikipedia has it all. Beside, I don’t like the idea of feminism. I just think that human should be treating equally but the equalities of men and women are differed. But as we are progressing with the equality issues, I don’t think that will happen in the near future. Still there are many cases of inequality. If you simply ask the amount of salary Brad Pitt is getting compared to Angelina Jolie, you will get the idea. Even in the USA, the land of hope, payment of woman CEO is lesser than the man. Thus, I reserved my expectation on the equality of salary in Malaysia.

At the end I was left with a question, what sort of man that I like to be with? I don’t know. I just want someone who is kind, has compassion, empathy and full of love, to share my life with. I want to share a life, happily. Obviously, if he smells badly, I will ask him to bath in a sauna full of roses or I will gift him perfumes every now and then. Or if he still does not get it, I will just spay him with perfume every morning. Shower him with perfume, er, love, I mean.

Pizza's advice

Friends do come to me to seek opinion. I will go to them to ask for opinion, or largely, people call it advice. Whatever the names is, it does not matter because at the end of the day, the person who ask is the one making the final call.

If they come to me, all I can do is to list down all the good points followed with the bad perspectives. Weighing between the two will usually give us some insight of a few possible right directions in order to take the next step. Then, role of the adviser is fin.

Nonetheless, the next step is only the first step of the whole ordeal, a baby step. There were millions steps that need to be make in order to the journey (remember, life is a journey?). We need to realize this because while making those steps, there will be stumbled blocks somewhere along it. If we make a new start every time we come upon a bad patches, then it will take hundreds years to complete the steps. This is true in some cases in life. But then again, probably we need to start afresh, let say in the case of bad spouse? Again, the first step is only a step of millions.

A strategist wannabe plus a trait of control freak instilled by my birth right make it hard for me to be detached from any sort of problems that cross my path.

The role of adviser was never finale for me after I delivered the verdict. I used to follow closely every move made by my friends after they came to see me for the advice; tiring, both body and soul but happy because I was part of their life.

BUT, now I am done doing that.

There were sorts of people who wanted advice but that was it, no attachment afterwards. I got that thrown to my face blatantly. Sigh! And there were many cases the advise be thrown back at my face with a sneer or a laughter. It felt like you were swarmed by a hot pizza on the face, which smells tasty nevertheless hot.

My advice (again?) to anybody out there who do not sincerely need any advice, keep quite. By keeping quite, you are making big help by simply not causing any grieve to other people who is willingly want to help. Or you are exhausting the neurons of them who have been thinking for you.

Thus, I have made my mind and think the best way to give away your ideas is when you are asked for it, sincerely. Ask me baby, I’ll let you know or else, I will just keep my mouth shut.

By the way, please remember to keep the hot warm pizzas for yourself if somehow you tend to criticize the advice given to you after you ask for it. It helps. *wink*

Reading is the brain's agenda

Writing is indeed interesting, and so is reading.

The whole new dimension unwraps vastly in front of me once I open-up a book to read. I am in the story, staying a step behind the main player. At time, I try to get in touch with the protagonist and give him or my two cents worth of thought before they make their next move. I can even see how they move about in a situation or how intense the crowded room.

Of course, I make it up all in my mind but I am the director of the story. The book is merely a script; nevertheless, in the health point of view, it was undeniably a major source of vitamins for the neurons of my brain.

The reading has affected me beyond my imagination that I can comprehend. Probably because reading (for me) is like a chemical inducer that can stimulates hormones, which without doubt, under the instruction of the brain; that made me agitated, in a good way. Those are reasons I enjoy the reading.

After a while, when a book that I read becomes an object of obsession, I will try to get my hand on all the published materials by the author of that book. Thus, I am now a proud owner of a collection of books from a few distinguished authors. The hunting became haunting once I can get into the mind of the writer. This is happening when I can reach ahead of the story and in doing so dried-up the rush of adrenaline. Sadly, few names had been crossed out of my reading lists.

I am glad that I’ve found Jeffrey Archer, Patricia Cornwell, Agatha Christie and Arthur Conan Doyle, amongst others.

I admit it that for me to read a book, the twists and the tales are a bigger factor more than the grammar and the sentences. I think I am too technical to have the benefit of the art of writing and the literature (though I do, to certain extend) and it is entirely my fault. I wish to correct this fault in my remaining years of life.

Nonetheless, there are a few columnists and bloggers who have a place in my reading lists. It is their ways of writing, which successfully have made me smirk or evoke a thought; let them straight into my good book.

If you noticed, the brain of mine has found a way to always stay on top. It makes sure anything which has an ability to provoke the neurons of it, such as the write-ups of these authors, is my thing. So, I have no control over my self, it is all an agenda of the brain.