Me, badwoman?

I felt bad.

I had to ask my senior colleague that initially was invited to be part of the research grant application if she wanted to stay or not for the new application. Well, for that part there was nothing to feel bad about.

Alright, the whole story went like this - the previous grant was rejected. Thus, we were looking at the new opportunity to fund the research. This new one needed us to fill in our CV in their database which means internet. All of us, except her, had previously had done the part.

So, what had I done? I asked her even knowing that she just fractured her one of her bone of the forearm and of course not being able to type. Wow!

I felt bad.

Size really matter

Who else can I blame for my ballooning size? It’s all because of me being too comfortable in eating. Alhamdulillah but at least I need to remember that bigger in size doesn’t reflect healthiness. Got to do something about this…

Letting you go....(II)

I am old, old enough to judge the right from the wrong. But then again, right and wrong is just a perspective, a view of a person. We will never get the same view even if we are looking at a same thing. And this brought forward the point that an idea of a person, it will never be identical even if it is among those living under one roof. This eventually led to the argument on who is who, the one to be blamed. At the end, there is no end.

I have to accept it, that we have grown apart. Things that we used to be fond of, movies that we used to watch, life that we used to share are no more the same.

As much as I tried to let things take it turn into a shape that I could cope, it never happened. We cannot keep holding on to the past. It was gone with every second pass.

Hurting each other in every sense, that’s we are now. No more laughter. No more smile.

I am letting it go, with love. Though I know I will miss you, wholeheartedly, but I dare not to hurt you anymore.

Cool off, please...

As I said in the earlier post, an academician shall be an inspirational individual. Well, probably I shall back out of that.

I lost my ‘coolness’ this morning. And it leaves a vile taste in my mouth and heart.

It was just a straightforward PCR experiment but having a grown-up student with no background in any way in molecular biology techniques, all that I can say was “muzukashi”. Whatever that I can do at the moment was to control myself and then, asked her out of the lab for few days. She was probably under stressed as well having to do things that had never been done. This break also means that both of us can have our own calm-down moment.

Being harsh on her was not the intention. I was a foreigner once in Japan, a foreign student and it is one of the reason I am being very patient with her. With the social class as someone with high position among her own community, not being able to conduct the experiment for her probably is considered as a letdown.

But then again, I can’t be selfish on her behalf just because she is new in this country. I do have other student to look for. The reagents can be depleted in a second, but to get the funding can take as long as years.

But no, I am not giving up as yet on her. I just want her to stop trying too much. PCR sometimes work in a wondrous way. It might work one day and fail in another. Let her cool off and for me, I want to do the troubleshooting by myself now. If it is a technique, then let we finalized the deal before she jump into the river knowingly that she cannot survive the watercourse.

God, please help both of us!

Much Ado About Colors

Malaysia has always been allied with colors. We have colorful ethics, with colorful cultures, with colorful music, dances, languages and etc. The list can go last as long as from the international border of Perlis to the end of sea border of Sabah.

This last two weeks, again the colors became the talk of nation.

Yesterday, I took an express bus from Alor Setar to Kota Bharu. While going down from the bus for a lunch break, the driver said something, “Nasib baik tak ada yang pakai baju kuning. La ni bahaya kalau pakai baju kuning.” Luckily no one wears yellow shirt. It is dangerous nowadays to wear yellow shirt. That statement was followed with laughter.

Ignorant I was I can’t even grasp the meaning of it till I saw three short stops of the men in blue throughout the journey.

Late afternoon, a FB friend mentioned something regarding her broadband lines where the blue and green were being too slow, and thinking if she shall changed for yellow band.

Me? I don’t know. I am thinking about getting a master student, start the research soon, purchasing reagents and what shall my next question to cikli be?

Much ado about colors, no, I have no other preferences at the moment. Purple is yet the unsurpassed. Even though my primary teacher once alleged there was no purple color of the sky, I was able to witness it many times.

Roling out the idea

Idea! That’s the main role of academia. It’s not just about molding the next generation but the best thing about being an academic personal is to have and come out with an idea. By doing just that, we, the academicians, are becoming the learning institute, but not the buildings of the institute.

An academician is supposed to mold a younger age group to be successful, give ideas as freely as water out of the new pipe, encourage and become a role model.

An old professor in this campus managed to impress me. He has tons of charisma. He waltz his way through the research field of herbs and yet able to stay smart and on top of that, he looks just as brilliant; which is by not wearing the ordinary scientist’s look. Ideas runs freely out of his mouth, at no extra charge.

I just wish that I too can grow old, wise and happy. Being a scientist is a way of me to help the public. I might not be able to reach that in my lifetime, but I wish God will help me to help others. Though I can't do anything on the 'look department', but as long as nice thing is said about me, Ok lah! (^_~)

Grading system again?

As a person we need to stop grading our self or others. Well, the grading systems have start since schooling days but let us leave it to the exam paper marking only, not human. It’s not humane to evaluate another human when it comes to life perspective, that’s God territory. Male or female, we are all Homo sapiens. On top of that, we are His entire servant. No need to prove anything, since no one has ever successfully brought back the death, not even zombie, so let’s call it a day.

Why I am blabbering here? The Obedient Wife Club’s statement of course!

No individuals are ever the same with one another. To put all women as one group and flocking it together is not the right way to do it. To say that one wife is obedient than another because they serve their husband sexually better, that’s also inappropriate. Well, that’s my opinion. Can they thing out of the box, as example, what if the husband is paralyzed from neck to toe? Then they wife is not first-class wife because no sex service is needed there. Besides, not all man is only looking for sex. It is not as easy as that to surmise the other person thought.

There are men who choose not to marry yet because there is thinking about the responsibility to bring up the family. Even some of them thought that polygamy is not are privileges but a HUGE responsibility. No, this do not come from Aidil of Nur Kasih fame, it was a comment from a cousin. There goes the myth that all man is looking for more than one wife/ partner. Probably some are, but the main point here is NOT all.

It was a bizarre proclamation to put up and moreover, giving such statement is only degrading woman as well as man; hope that they can make some amend before the reputation of the club goes beyond reparable.