Guarding one heart

I have a successful and an ideal life, one of my friend mentioned one day. Alas, that is far from true. The truth is I might have a contented life. Anyway, that is not the point that I want to share, which is my view of myself.t

I do have friend and they are dear to my heart. At time, I will go at length to fulfill their wishes. It is easy for me to do those things because of the friendship labelled. However,  when it comes to one level up, I do not have the heart. I keep my heart closes to the chest chamber and guarded it in fierce.

It may comes from the fact that trusting is an issue when it has something to do with my heart. I know I can be easily fooled,  which is why I opt not to trust so easily in the matter of heart. Well, I might miss a lot because of that, but I can't see other options. Deep down I want to love and be loved. Maybe some other time where the life is less complicated.

Body, you belong to the mind

At the point we just let the thought wander around, we may want to pull it back to the earth. Mind wandering without guideline is dangerous. 

Our mind is is very powerful that it can convince us that we are in a bad situation. Subsequently, we will act in that manner. There have been many motivational gurus who said about this. They may say this in an absurd manner which is ideal for the audiences and it is nothing wrong that. Men are choosy and they usually choose whatever that they want to listen, or how they want it to be presented. 

Have you ever think about your latest incidence related to your colleague. Think about what he said to you. Maybe he has been saying bad things about you behind your back to the other people. Then, the other colleagues may have believed him. What if this thing has gone up to the top management. STOP. Now analyze your feeling. Do you feel bad?

We are what we think we are. If we think bad, the mind will start telling the body system to react accordingly. There will be enzymes, hormones, ion charges and lots more reacting towards the instruction of the mind. Then, we will feel depressed, lonely or sad, or anger. This is a normal process of a body system. The mind of the brain tell, the body just produces. That is why we need to always keep the mind clean. Be positive. Be strong. Be hopeful. 

What is the reason? Scientists have shown that we can only see if the mind can process what we are seeing. But how is the mind working? Do we see first or is it the mind who is allowing us to see? Or why negative people think negatively all the time? Or how can the mind differentiate the growl from the stomach is a hungry growl or because there are too much food that the stomach cannot process? Still, these cannot be answered. I think the one up there controls all these. 

Anyway, I have mentioned about guidelines earlier. I think we should let the mind wander once awhile, but always remember the common basic guidelines that we all have. But if we don't have, find one. Life is never about justice, life is more about being fair, about being good and about being true. 

He taught his teacher about living the life

My PhD student is a Syrian. He worked in Saudi Arabia before coming to Malaysia. His PhD supervisor was someone else a year before he finally became my student and since had submitted the thesis for examination.

          Starting from the time I knew him until today (almost three years had passed), only God knows of how many bad incidences that took place in his life. He is a husband and a father of 4 children, and all of them are here with him. His country is at war and his hometown was at wrecked that he can't go back there. During those 3 years, he had once broken his right hand for landed on the floor after trying to change lamp bulb. Being a dentist who basically worked with right hand, that period of time say a lot about his future. Thank God, the hand can be fixed. Apart from that, he still have elderly parents at home, who are now shifted to Jordan. That was after so much of demanding from him.

         His elder brother passed away last two years ago due to cancer, leaving behind a wife and children. The brother was a surgeon. 

          My student, ASA, was here while these occurred.  

         ASA is not a man without an opinion. He has a lot to say, but probably because these things keep happening one after another, he gets used to it and rarely mentioned about this. 

         Once a while, I would ask about his family back home and he would eventually leave my room with red eyes. Me, I would be dumbfounded by him handling all these and not showing any sign of depression or lack of willingness to go on fighting the world. I then, would be thinking about our own Malaysians who would kill themselves on the road for the sake of having fun or would end up at the Pusat Serenti.

         Being opinionated and coming from different fields of study, we used to lock horns over many things, especially regarding his thesis writing. It is hard if he too has to work with an opinionated supervisor. For me, this was a process of teaching and "agree to disagree", which I do not welcome much but I appreciated it a lot. 

          I am telling this story not to degrade him what-so-ever. It is just a story sharing to let others know that we can be the best in the worst condition. It is the matter of choosing.

          He is teaching me as much as I think I had taught him. 

Can't make everyone happy....

The dry season is good in a way. Dry and tasteless. Whoa! I started the morning after a long hiatus, by being sarcastic. Excuse me, that is not "me", but "my demon" inside. 

Well, for the past few months, there is one girl in the office who felt threatened by me (unnecessarily) had kept posted on her Facebook that someone had done bad for her. I guess she had been talking about me because she was talking about my achievement which somehow reduced her popularity in the workplace. The last sentence was my assumption because she never comes clean about it neither do I. As my gesture of disapproval, I just reserved my interaction with her. Nevertheless, I will not argue just to prove my point since it might severed any type of relationship that one may have. That is my way of finding peace with oneself.  

But, anyway, I have been working very hard starting from the year of 2011, do not just sit idle in my not so soft chair which means that whatever that transpires out of it is the gift from Him. It is a sunnatullah. You work, you get. Although sometimes, we may work but do not get. It is another story that will need another post on it.

But then again, by taking this out loud, I should remember that she is "the sets of questions sent by Him". Probably to teach me something. Then, I should deal with her in a good way that will eventually benefit me hereafter. 

Anyhow, let's just take this lightly and remember that world consists many types of people and not everyone will be happy with us. The one that we need to serve before anything is Him. 

Rainy season comes early in Penansular East Coast

Well, KB and I, we just decided last week that we would like to spend our afternoon walking around the campus. KB usually had sometimes in the afternoon after office hour while waiting for her husband to pick her up.

Anyway, towards the second day, we were running for our dry clothes against the drops of rain. The rain drops were not the actual drops. It poured down heavily on us.

But then again, to think that I normally would not have a chance - to just go ahead and 'mandi hujan' by pretending to be polite walking under my umbrella - that was a very good excuse. As for KB, she was down with the flu the day after but thankfully, it was not the real one.

This afternoon, KB was not in for the game. And the thunderstorm frightened me with the 'lightning' idea. There goes another day of not wasting our fat by walking.

Anyway, I am going home after this, to cycle. Hopefully.

Oblivious

Things in life may not follow our needs or intentions. It has its own course. It will fly, jump, stop, swim, whenever necessary because as we all now, all are up to Him. Because we never can see the large picture. 

 

We are too small to realize that there were house burning next to the road behind those tall houses even though we can see the fire engine was next to you and many firefighters around. That was so true to my friend and I, yesterday afternoon while we were heading to Tesco of Kg Sireh. Well, if we were so oblivious to circumstances that were supposed to be seen, how about other things? 

Put on the thinking cap.... 

Grateful is a big word for a tiny little piece of imperfectness

I just bought a new car. Praise to Allah and I am very happy about that. Thus, I've been shying-sang on the road; from KB to AS, back to KB, went to AS again; all those to spend time with my family back home. Everything when just perfect until last week. 

During one of the Hari Raya open-house, my friend's husband realized that there was a hairline cracked on the left-side at the back of my car bumper plus half-size of one Ringgit paint scratched. I was obviously shocked by the finding since I didn't remember anyone bump into my car. Of course my mind started racing by to find the culprit. For sometimes, I felt quite unhappy. 

But then again, being surrounded by good people is good for our soul.

I've a flock of FB friends who posted many good things in their status. In addition, there are many motivators who's FB's account I subscribed into. 

There's one post mentioned that we shall be thankful of losing a pair of shoes because amongst us, there are many without a pair of feet.

Well, having a scratched paint is nothing. Many are still wishing that they at least have a car that can be driven around.

So, be grateful for the many good things instead of worrying over a tiny little piece of imperfectness.