Fumbled, stumbled and mumbled, all those things happened during my final research presentation. I felt embarrassed thinking about it because at one point, I rephrased the same sentenced for three times and wasted the golden 20 seconds. Imagine the quiet hall and the reverberated sentenced.
As accustomed, the presenter would take a seat near the podium, thus, I can’t see who’s there who’s not. While the datuk was saying some kind words in Japanese introducing me as his student, I took a glance towards the audiences, and saw some familiar faces. Most of the international students were there, and Shima too. I was definitely happy to see them sitting amongst the audiences. In the foreign country, we aliens stick together. Besides Shima, a Malaysian, there were friends from Indonesia, Mongolians, Bolivia and China.
Amongst them, there were also professors who usually asked questions that were normally unanswerable. But then at that very moment I can’t feel my heartbeats racing anymore, indicated that my level of nervousness was above the normal limit which means, I went numbed. The good thing about it was it made me looked calm in the outside.
After the fumbled moments, I continued the presentation with a number of err in between words that I can remember and finally managed to finish just in time. It was a relieved, but for a while before I heard the questions from the two clinical professors. Both of them insisted that I gave them the clinical significant of my research. By insisted, I mean they asked different questions in hoping to get the same answer, ‘No clinical significant.’
I had never expected that. Actually, I always thought that Japanese scientists are opened-minded about research. The datuk did come to my rescue several times answering the queries on my behalf. After awhile, I felt that I was being bullied by these two professors. Probably they had an agenda pushing me to a brink to dishonor datuk. Office politics? Sigh!
The Q&A session that was supposed to finish in 10 minutes took another 20 minutes while during that time I tried my best to smile and not to put on my ‘What the heck?’ face.
When the datuk finally interrupted the last question on the ground that the time was over, I gave my best smile to one of the professor, Prof A, bowed while saying ‘I am sorry’. Out of the two professors, he was the one who were persistent about the research clinical aspects, which to everyone in the lab thought had no merit. I slept that night feeling heartache as his face and corrosive questions kept coming back haunting.
And yet, fate does love to play game with me. He sent the chain of reactions.
It was not that I never saw Prof A but he was never registered in the memory because we rarely meet.
Anyhow, the next morning, went I reached the front door of the clinic, the lift (elevator for Japanese) door located directly in front of the main door was wide opened as if it was waiting for me. Ding dong, on the second floor the lift stopped and the door opened. Outside the lift, Prof A was on the second floor waiting for the lift, with Nagano sensei, all smiling. I think he was also surprised seeing me because it took him a few seconds longer to step into the lift. With his eyes fixed on me, he asked, ‘You gave presentation yesterday? I was there.’
Like I don’t know. I retorted but only in my mind. All the while we were standing side by side; the petrified me only acknowledge him, saying ‘Hait!’ and return the smile.
Then, he I saw him again during lunch time, when he was rushing down the stairs. Again, when I was walking out of the building to the waiting car of my friend, Prof A, he was there standing next to the lift. And then, when the least I expected to see him, because the lab’s members (minus the datuk) brought me to a restaurant to celebrate the ending of my PhD research presentation, he was also there with all his laboratory’s members. They were celebrating the head department who received an award from the government. And finally, while walking to the car park, I saw him for the one last time that day coming out of the men’s room. What a spark of reactions! Probably the best served antidote?
