Day of baking...

Instead of doing laboratory works, I spent whole day yesterday baking cakes and cleaning the apartment. Hard work it is but it was a good therapy for me, indeed. Actually, at the moment I still can't get over the LC3 problems as the final result was not supporting my hypothesis. I was quiet depressed in that sense and yet to tell my Professor. Only Hasegawa sensei shared my feeling because he was with me dealing with this analysis. Oh! How worry can one be when good sleep started to escape me?

Anyway, I will try to put that aside. Today, Shima is organizing birthday party for her little daughter, Humairah. And helping her with the cakes was my intention. I wish that the weather will remain clear through out the day. And we will enjoy the rest of the day having ayam percik that she and Am prepared.

My Harley-Davidson

My Harley Davidson cost me only 5000yen. A second hand bicycle.

Previously I used a bicycle given by my Professor for commuting. He got that bicycle from his friend who was leaving Tokushima to work in other part of Japan. Every year, a number of officers are transferred to other places as a part of working culture here. Thus, many bicycles were left behind by their owner. Thinking of helping the new foreign student to settle down, my Professor and his wife will always prepare a bicycle to be given to the student.

Bicycle is one of main transportation in Tokushima and many people commute using bicycle. It is normal to see a man dressing in suite cycling for work every morning. Anyway, bicycle really help me to move around the town. Thirty minutes cycling is normal nowadays. A way to exercises, by the way.

Then, the front tyre of the blue bicycle (given by my Professor) was punctured. Replacing the tyre alone would cost around 3000yen. After much thought, I opted to buy my Harley. Size of the wheels were much bigger and make it faster than the blue one. The handlebar grip and seat cover are also much more comfortable. Both of the tyres were original tyres from Harley. Because of that, the probability that the former owner(s) did not used the bicycle to the maximum is there. Anyhow, I just like the idea of owning a Harley Davidson. Even though it is only a bicycle.

Happy Father’s Day, ayah!

People have flaws. So was my father, especially when you have a daughter who thinks that she is better. Poor, my father!

He was a typical Asian father who did not know how to say 'I love you, my dear daughter'. During my schooling years I knew he was proud of me and my flying colors examination results. He never said so but he went around telling other people about it. The news then flew back to my ears, later on.

He knew that I love such and such fruits and food, and every times I came back from school holidays, I would definitely saw them in the kitchen. A month before he died of blood poison due to the ulcer in his intestines, he asked my brother to buy about hundred pieces of petai (parkia speciosa) in the market. He then asked my mother to make jeruk (pickle) of its. “Boleh simpan untuk Na” (We can keep it for Na). I was living on my own in KB during that time and rarely came home due to work. My mother made the jeruk, but it was not meant for him to have it anyway. However, my family was able to eat the petai jeruk even two years after his death.

People have flaws. I do. I don’t recall if I have once told him that I love him. I really hope that I had done that at least once. I wish that he knew that I love him. I hope that he understood that I never meant all the bad things that I said to him. I just simply wish that he knew that every day that pass by, my love to him is getting stronger. I pray that I will see him again, in dreams and in Heaven. God bless him, my ayah!

p/s The only flaw that my father had was he had a daughter who thought good of herself only. Sorry, ayah and I miss you, still....

Point of view

Somehow, we live with a life that is totally ours but actually, it is not ours. As a part of modern living society, we tend to focus on the individuality till we forget that we’re living amongst human being. Living alone for too long could be one of the factors submitting to the ideas that we serve no one and our life is ours. Definitely, we are wrong.

First and foremost, we’re answerable to God, because He is our Maker. He makes us and we shall always remember that at the end of the day, there is one day that we have to answer Him for all our deeds, be it good or bad.

Why this entry is so serious? This is all because of my thinking and reading of online websites on situations of Malaysia and also reflections of my life for the past 30 years.

I am no saint. I have my fair shares of sins. However, at this point of life, things people point out like the need to look at our religion from different aspects really scares me. We do live by Koran and Hadith. The idea of looking and explaining it in a new perspective anyhow scared me because I am a person with limited knowledge of my own religion. If the perspective really the real teaching of Islam, then it is for the better. But, if it is done for a group of people who has intention to take advantages of Malaysian Muslims then we’re in a big trouble. This is because most Muslims in Malaysia are like me. We have knowledge of Islam that able us to carry our duty as a Muslims but that is it. If anyone with a better knowledge of hadith and Koran and able to cite one or two of it, we are impressed. And then we will take words that falling from their mouth just like that. Overall, there are groups of people started to campaign that we shall take a look at Islam in a new way. It is means that all the teachings before this is wrong?

There is also another group who claimed to be Muslims but has 180degrees view from a normal teachings of Islam. I don’t want to indulge more into it as this is really worried me.

Islam for me is a teaching of how to live a good life. It proposed a peaceful life. It brings us back to the idea of having one God and we shall be good in life because at the end, it is Him we’re going to meet. At that moment, money, power, wives, husbands, children, cars, houses etc. will serve no meaning to us. We come without a cloth from a womb and will go back with a single white cloth, nothing more or less. All the materials that we collected in this world will only good as long as we’re alive, not thereafter.

Congratulation Mak Tam!

In the midst of misery after missing one of our close relative just early this week, God decided that He would throw in a happy moment for us. On the day when my mother’s aunt passed away, the evening was actually schedule for my aunt’s bertunang ceremony. And the ceremony was postponed to yesterday.

I had made an early call to my mother this morning. The small ceremony was successfully organized. Almost 50 close family members turn up, even after the ceremony was over. I can imagine the happy and merry moment with everyone took turn to tease the bride. And she did not answer them all but blushed and smile, as she always does.

My Mak Tam, as the bride is affectionately known, is a person adored by everybody in our family because she is a very nice person. She is in her early 40 and lives alone after my grandmother passed away. Everybody is worried of that fact and having own no income of her own mount up the worry. At least, she will be taken cared and will have somebody to share her live with.

The akad nikah ceremony is planned before Ramadhan. My mother and I had already started to discuss about the wedding, which will take place after Hari Raya. Happy we are with the fact that there will be another wedding at our house this year, beside my brother’s wedding early this year. The whole family is looking forward for it though I have to give a miss. But off course my prayer will always be with them

Fasting test run...

If I told my mother about me being afraid of having to perform fast this coming summer, she will surely send my ears (both left and right), deaf for a week. Not only that, she will also mention something regarding my faith of the religion. I dare not to touch this touchy subject with my mother.

Why I am afraid? Actually, summer in Japan is the longest day that I ever had. Even now, the subuh prayer start 6 minutes after 3am and asar will end 15minutes after 7pm. This means if I fast, it is 16hours. Two third of a day. I've never done that and I know that I am not that strong.

As a scientist, we are teach to test every possible conditions to come up with a conclusion. Thus, I've decided to fast yesterday. Early in the morning, around 2.45am, I had my sahur. The test run is successful beside the bad news of my grandmother that altered my mental state and bring my body to be like 'no mood to do anything'.

Eventually, I told my mother about the test run last night. She was surprised that I will have a long fasting time. She was very supportive and happy that I was alright after the fast. So, I will do the fast once awhile during this month until the real ramadhan to prepare my body. The heat and humid during summer in Japan is something that I am worry about but faith will get me through!

Get going dude!

Another sad news in the morning

As I mentioned in previous post, I don't like to receive messages or phone call either late at night or early in the morning from my family back home. It is normal if my mother wants to talk to me but she will usually let my brother send me SMS around 8pm to 10pm. If I were to receive the message early morning around 7, then I should be on my toes. She has some news and it is always not a good news.

Today, I was told that my mother's aunt, whose house in just behind our house in the village had passed away early this morning around 1am. She was 70s plus and was admitted into the hospital in Kuala Nerang a few days back for chest pain. And yesterday, my brother and his family visited her and she seems to be in a good condition, talking and laughing and just waiting to be discharged. God has another plan and she got heart attacked shortly after my brother reached home.

She was a good person with a sensitive heart. Had always wanted the best for her family. She's the one who took care of my mother after my father and my grandmother passed away. The main pillar of my brother's wedding that took place early this year was her. I will miss her always . (~_~)

Stare till blood flow through

Ambitious to finish the protein extraction procedures, I went home early morning today, after 12 am. Slept through the night (or morning?) and waking up feeling a little bit tired. As I intended not to do anything heavy (doing lab work is heavy...sigh!), so I just pushed myself to do some clean up in the animal rooms this morning. Then, to just continue writing the scientific article that need to be published for my graduation.

Most people think that writing is as easy as typing. Well, most of them is wrong. Writing might come easy with people who have the talent and words will flowing out from their mind like streaming water of a river. Unfortunately for me, it is not the case.

Writing is the art of telling the story. Thus, some suspends should be somewhere in the story to attract the readers. There must be some low and high tones, just like the music. It is an ART after all. So does the scientific writing. We wanted the audience to understand the writing and in doing so adding up some new information to the scientific knowledge.

How to do the writing? Me, I will sometimes spend times just staring at the computer's monitor. Yes, hoping that by doing so some sentences will form themselves in my mind and then I can start writing right away. Well, in serious note it was far from that. I have spent some time staring the monitor and end up writing the blog instead. What a day?!

Heartiest condolence to Kak CT

This morning, while I was preparing myself before coming to the lab, I heard vibration of my Celcom mobile phone. It is around 9am here, means 8am in Malaysia. I don't like to receive any news late at night or early morning. It was from Ina. So, I thought it was about the parcel that she will sent later on to me.

I picked up the phone and read the message. A sad news to share with all. It was about Kak CT's son. Kak CT is my friend who is currently working in USM IPPT. Anyone who had worked in Human Genome Center before the year of 2004 should have known Kak CT. Her son had past away yesterday. Ammar, the first child of her had went to Mesir to further study. Oyah sent me another YM message around noon mentioned that he was involved in an accident. I haven't heard the details but going to do soon. Quite a busy day today because I did sacrificed some mice and extract proteins.

I pray to God that things will be fine for Kak CT and her husband, Abang Zul and their other children. May God bless us all.

Bling-bling keitai

This entry is about my pinku bling-bling keitai or also known as shining pink hand phone. (hehe!) During the past 2 years, I was and still am the loyal subscriber of AU communication company, one of prominent mobile telecommunication provider.

And during the past 2 years also, I used my hand phone to call Malaysia. It was not cheap but it was one of the easy options that I have. Until recently, by the good will of Mbak Dewi and husband, I finally managed to install land home phone. It was cheapest option compared to the other if I wanted to call back Malaysia.

As my hand phone bills were so high, and so was my collected points. Then, last week Au sent in another promotion that made me able to change my point with free hand phone. My red phone was old and I lost count of numbers it fall onto the ground. Thus, the condition was not as good. I wanted to use the points, and asked some Mirza and Mira to accompany me and be my translator. I don't know what to do without you, guys.

The salesman was nice and good looking. And I still don't know if he was one of the factors I opted out from getting the free hand phone (zero yen) and picked the pink one instead. But, I think the pink one was SO cute and classy, eventhough I need to add another 6000plus yen. At the end, the pinku keitai is mine!

Anyway, special thanks to Mirza and Mira for the help! (^_^)

Sunday at 100yen sushi shop

I never know when I learn to miss sushi so much. It was actually about three months I haven't had sushi and last Sunday we went for a sushi treat. And to made an enquiry about free ketai (handphone), another shop next to the 100yen sushi shop.

I hope the pictures gave some impression of real cheap sushi in Japan. 100yen is as cheap as anyone can get. In good restaurant the price is higher but the taste is better.

LC3 again...

You see, when I did the experiment using this LC3 new antibody, the end result of western blot was still like to play hide and seek. Today my result of preabsorb (a control experiment) showed a very good band, sharp, crystal clear. But when I did using all the samples last week, they did played "sembunyi-sembunyi". I am not making up the story. I do think at this moment that God is testing me with this antibody. It was like my hand is reaching the finish line but somehow, my knee started giving some pain that slowed me down.

I am sad....(~-~)

Thanks Abang Aka...

I have a good rapport with one of my sensei, Akamatsu. Such a sweet guy when he is not busy but could turn into cold person when he has a lot in his mind. I can simply understand him and he to me. The only barrier is language. But we always have good laughs together whenever the whole bunch of us going out for any celebrations.

Last night before he went home, he was in one of his sweet charming nature. Suddenly, he came up to me and said,
"Azlina san, you will finish by next autumn?"
"Yes, sensei. This autumn and then next autumn I am going back."

He smiled and I returned the smile. Looking at him, I just knew what he was going to say next.
"Maybe you can write up the paper soon." You can see my broader smile if you're here. "If you finish before the Niigata conference, I can check it up, submit and we can do the revision after that."

Oh! How sweet! He wanted to let me know that he cares for me. And mind you, cares as a student. Thanks a lot, Abang Aka and I know that clock is ticking because Niigata conference is this September and I need to put more time into writing. I will do just that.

Sharp as an arrow, powerful as a running water...

Being able to play with words is interesting. Those are lifestyles of writers or journalists or novelists. Words are powerful as it can bring down a government (Watergate scandal), may take a breath away (poems and lyrics of songs) and make crowd go crazy (Hitler). Words is also the one that can penetrate deep into my heart.

I don't have any particular reason of me being so soft over something or someone. Beside tears, old women, old men and children, anybody that can put words correctly may enter my heart. Probably like typing a password and here you are in my world with me willingly to help you anytime.

Powerful as a running water imply that words could be very dangerous if use improperly. Anyway, as sharp as an arrow, it can directly get any attention if other mean fail to do so. Thus, any notion using words shall be carried with weight because as a reader we never know the agenda of those words.

Dearest LC3, I am so sorry!

Its seems that my love hate relationship with my love antibody, name LC3 had come to end end. The SCruz is a big hearted parent of LC3 and rich. The clashed came after I found out in the website diary of SCruz, last week to be exact that LC3 is not what he seems to be. According to the original diary, LC3 is someone that I wanted to be with. Having difficulties to adapt to LC3 lifestyle, I searched again the website. The information was changed, even the name though the birth ID remain the same.

I make some query last week and after changing two emails, the parent admit that their family have had new information of my LC3 since last year. The problem was that I cannot be with LC3 anymore and was very upset with the misleading information. As the parent was rich and generous, he wanted to replace LC3 with someone else or give money as refund. The damage had been done. I need time to mend the broken heart and I will let LC3 go, for our sake. Thanks anyway for Scruz because no big hassle had been made.

p.s Someone with similar name, LC3B from Sgma is waiting for me. Here I come, my new love!

People with no religion

Studying overseas means that we are exposed to new cultures and people from all walk of life. We befriend with many different faces and habits and ways of thinking. We are push to be adaptable and make do with whatever that come into our zone. There is no comfort zone and patience is the only factor that may help us to survive.

I am making friend with a girl from Bangladesh. Yesterday, while washing the mice cages in the animal room where we keep our mice, I met her. Small talk on weather jump into the problem of flooding in Bangladesh. And then politics and economy.

One thing she said remains for quite a long time in my mind.

"One of my friend said, 'Two type of people in this world that doesn't have any religion. One is politician. The other is terrorist." She said.

I have no comment. (^^)