People have flaws. So was my father, especially when you have a daughter who thinks that she is better. Poor, my father!
He was a typical Asian father who did not know how to say 'I love you, my dear daughter'. During my schooling years I knew he was proud of me and my flying colors examination results. He never said so but he went around telling other people about it. The news then flew back to my ears, later on.
He knew that I love such and such fruits and food, and every times I came back from school holidays, I would definitely saw them in the kitchen. A month before he died of blood poison due to the ulcer in his intestines, he asked my brother to buy about hundred pieces of petai (parkia speciosa) in the market. He then asked my mother to make jeruk (pickle) of its. “Boleh simpan untuk Na” (We can keep it for Na). I was living on my own in KB during that time and rarely came home due to work. My mother made the jeruk, but it was not meant for him to have it anyway. However, my family was able to eat the petai jeruk even two years after his death.
People have flaws. I do. I don’t recall if I have once told him that I love him. I really hope that I had done that at least once. I wish that he knew that I love him. I hope that he understood that I never meant all the bad things that I said to him. I just simply wish that he knew that every day that pass by, my love to him is getting stronger. I pray that I will see him again, in dreams and in Heaven. God bless him, my ayah!
p/s The only flaw that my father had was he had a daughter who thought good of herself only. Sorry, ayah and I miss you, still....
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