Sometimes, I might sound pompous. Oh! Well, most of the time actually. But since this was happening once more time, it really drive me nut. Oh! Please stand by me, a self-importance little woman who think that she was so bored with her life. The one and only raison d'être was that she thought she was underwork (though always underpaid?) which out of sudden instill a need for her to go all out searching for work to be done.
But then, don’t get me wrong. I am a well paid worker who has been working with this company for the past 8 years.
Prior to a life in Japan as a student, the working life had never been so undemanding. My former boss was a workaholic surgeon with responsibilities more than the average people can handle. Since he was able to do more things, he had a similar anticipation on me, and most of his subordinates. Thus, to stop and smell the roses was a luxury in those days. Then Japan came, which life pattern was nothing new to the whole world. They eat, drink and sleep with one word only throughout the life, WORK! The 8 years training left me with no choice but to think that life is all about filling your day with work, not just simply to attend the work place.
Therefore, this ‘me’ found that the pace of my work was too slow creep a hell out of me. Moreover, the free time (during work hours) gave me enough time to wonder into ideas where one of it was I’ve started counting money of other people bank’s account. Ops! Sorry. That is an in-house joke about a particular housewife who we speculate had spent her free time counting the money of the students with scholarships since she was well aware of other people expenditure. Easily said, I’ve started to wonder other people life which is against my principle. I can feel that I have become so negative that my DNA (which is also negatively charge) was coming out of my body, in view of the fact that two objects with same charge experience a mutual repulsive force. Oh!
So, what do I do?
Well, I need work. I create one.
I asked a dental master student of another lecturer whose project was co-researched with me to come for a little introduction tutorial. Not only that, I had volunteered to teach two laboratory’s technician on the basic of molecular techniques. Besides, I did volunteered to review a few articles intended for a book publication.
I lied. Those were not just one work.
The list is growing by second.
I just wish somebody will come along and stop me before I am overload again. Probably asking me for water skiing in Langkawi will do for the time being.
10 comments :
And this is bad because?
I love to work! Am I another holics? (#_#)
Oh oh...workaholic woman is not attractive! The same goes to smart intelligent woman! The combination of both makes that woman least popular. We can't do anything about the intelligence since one is born with it and we should be grateful too. But I think you can change yourself to be less work dependent! When this workaholic symptom is resolved, then only you will learn to 'stop and smell the roses'. One would think that since there is nothing interesting in the daily life, there is no harm to work extra time. But remember, when you put all the effort in your job, then there will be no time for you to socialize and get to know other people. And it's a vicious cycle! You still need to find the balance dear! Been there before. And denial may be something you have to get over too. Good luck!
LOL! i am not looking frwrd of being attractive or to be judged as being in denial...i am just wondering that why working tasted so good...;)
Ohh, then I am sorry because I must have misunderstood your story. You know me, it is better to tell earlier then later. If not I might 'menyesal'.
I am that type of person who work to live. Though I have been in Japan for more than a decade, I refused to follow their work culture which is, 'to live to work'. I was one of them, once. Hubby said I was overworked. I denied. Until one day, I had chest pain and palpitation. Doctor checked me thoroughly and told me that I suffered from overwhelming stress. If this occurs again, it might not be too good. OK...I am grateful I am still alive. But I could have died. But how come I didn't feel the stress? That's because I love what I am doing!! But does that mean when you love what you are doing, your body can accept it? NO! That's not the case, at least in me. So what's the solution? I had to take things more easily. Alhamdulillah, I am feeling better now. I have another close examples. My supervisor. She died at an early age. She was not even in her 40s! Oh, she was the next best scientist after my boss. She loved coming to lab. She enjoyed it very much. She was the first to come and the last to go back. She looked happy all the time. But before she left our lab for a better position, I could see that her energy was not as good as before. We advised her to go to doctor. But she denied and said that it's because she was too tired because she had a lot of arrangements to do before leaving.
2 months after she left, she was diagnosed to have lung cancer. Late stage.
6 months after that, she passed away.
So...was all the sacrifice she made worth it?
Well, it's hard for me to judge. And I do not want to judge too. She might have been very happy with what she was doing, and had been ignoring the signs and symptoms. I didn't ignore the signs...but it sure was scary to realize that. I don't know whether I might have terpesong again. But, just to share my experience about work. And that to me now, work is not my everything. It is what I do to earn my living. I love my work. It's very rewarding. But I always remind myself, my family needs me and that's my everything.
Just my two cents worth...not as a nagging physician. But as a friend who cares.
And one thing, you won't realize you are in denial, dear. You only will realize it later. I have come to experience that. It takes a lot of effort for my hubby to make me realize that.
I think we both share the same symptoms. I become depressed if I dont have any work or any plans to do. So thats why I am so stressed here. But I am happy if my life occupied with lots of things whether it is work, leisure or travelling :)
Dear Adi, thanks a lot for your concern.
And I really glad that you did good to yourself. Besides, I also heard about your teacher from my teachers in dental school. They went for her memorial service.
However, I think you missinterpreted the intention of this post.
Coming back means I am adapting to the life with lots of holes, that need to be filled. Holes of the life patterns. The holes gives me a lot of free times, which for me is not good since it can lead to depression mood. Thus, at the time being, I used work as an excuse to fill in the free time. But I know this is not good. That's why at the end of the writing, I am asking for my friends to come for a rescue, yes, by asking me out for any activities.
I've visited a doctor and he said that my condition was a symptom of 'post PhD trauma' ;), the blood test was good....and a friend in UM kept chanting 'chilled' whenever we talked and a cousin who let me see the real problem. Anyhow, I think I have many friends who can be counted, including you. Thanks!
I am 'chilling' out under the moonson weather of east coast. (^_^)
Dear Yan, I think person with ambitious nature like you are always looking for something....hehehe! Opss...Am I puji diri sendiri nih? hehehe! Other people will say, Go figure! (^_~)
Phew...yokatta! I am so relieved that you are trying to solve that issue! Cause I really don't want to hear the same case happened to us happen to my close friend! Take it easy dear. Keep yourself busy is good. But don't forget ok, in Malaysia, when people mark you as 'rajin', ada jer orang yang akan take things for granted. So try not to overload yourself ok. That's my initial intention. To stop you from overloading unnecessary workload. It will take some time for you to adjust, and job would also come rolling naturally. You were a 'kuli' once, but now you are on your own. You are the boss! So, there must be a lot to adjust to.
People say watching the sea would make you more calm, relax and lessen the stress. So, go to the beach every weekend and chill, or pergi kelas menyulam ke? Hahaha. Take care! :)
PS: boleh tidur tak? You know who you can count on if you need any help.
Agree with kak adi. In Malaysia, when people mark you as rajin, they will take things for granted. I am in this situation. Sometimes, I feel like I am overloaded with a lot of stupid things. U know what I mean. I hate the political issue in malaysian university. I am the "kuli" like u said. And now I am trying to escape from this situation. *sigh
Saya mau DS52 secepat mungkin (gila pangkat haha)
-azian-
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