Sometimes I envy my other ‘me’. I never knew that she can worked her b**t out to be here, at this stage of life. A lot of works had been done to beat all the oddness, silliness, ugliness and demons just to do the right thing, overcome the unfeasible. I am one of this ‘orang ulu’ that had been described in the blog by Malaysian former Prime Minister. A simple example, I never thought the other me can understand and speak English, off course not the standard Queen English but can do ‘lah’. It was a long ride for both of us. Sometimes, I think I’ve been living long enough to see and experiences things. Other times I felt tired and just wanted to lie down and sleep, and let the world move on without me. But both of us comprehend that she will never let it materialized, a survivor she is. She wouldn’t even let me bent on my knee and take a take a break. Life for her probably a way to get the best that she can. On my mother account, she had shown a trait of being a go getter when she was a small girl, won’t backed down when she set her mind on something even though that means that she would parted with her saving.
It is a struggle of power between both of us. We want two different things over the same body.
What should we do?
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