100th post - forgive and forgiven

I am thinking of writing about conscience of oneself.

Probably, I think now is the best time in my life, though I feel bad about it, but I am having ample time to reflect my life and my journey after this. One of Malaysian motivator always said that the best thing to do before going to sleep is to forgive everyone. He means literally, everyone, yes, everyone that we have grudge against. That's means if we even hate some high up politicians in the foreign country that we had nothing to do about. We shall forgive everyone and especially our self.

In my opinion, the hardest think anyone can do is to forgive thyself. Or at least I felt so about myself. I am not perfectionist in the term of physically arrange things to the T. Like having my nails cut at almost the same pattern or the arrangement of bottles should be facing north. I admit that I may have the tendency but I would hate myself if I am so. But one thing that I can't control is my consciousness.

It is actually hard for me to forgive myself. I can forgive others and even forget them completely in order to save myself from the burning anger inside. At one point, a friend pointed it out "We are not perfect!". The sentence live with me since then. Every time I make mistake, I'll try to mend it and then try to forgive myself.

P/s -"Try to avoid hurting other people as every time you hurt them, it's like we're hitting one nail into the wall of their heart. When we ask for forgiveness, it's like taking out the nail. Remember that the nail maybe out, but a mark is left on the wall. One nail one mark, 100 nails, 100 marks. And we're losing them."