At every year end, there will be 'fuyu yasumi' (winter holidays) for about 5 days in Japan. This year we got around 9 days because it starts from 27th of December and end on the January 4th. Many Japanese are taking this time off to visit other countries or to be together with their respective family. However, the most special day is on the 1st of January.
On first of January, most families will be having feast together. Some of them will have parties followed with indoor games. They even have special foods for the day. One of them is plain mochi or cake make from rice flour (rice cake). It's sticky and eaten with special miso soup, known as zoni.
My friend, Tokunaga sensei just drop by for a visit. She brought me a few rice cakes that she made herself and a bag of 'mikan' (mandarin orange). I am very glad to receive her as we haven't seen each other for some times. She was very busy with English course that the school will implement in the Elementary school 2009. She will start teaching year 5 and 6 students English, one time each week. Something new as before there is no English class for Elementary children.
Back to zoni, Tokunaga sensei explain how to prepare it. It has different way of preparation depending on the places. By the way, I had found the recipe earlier in the recipe book which I bought from Amazon Japan, Japanese Recipes 60. The book is good as it has instruction and pictures. Anyway, thank you so much Tokunaga sensei for your gift and thought.
Tomorrow, I am going to Surini's place in Kobe. We'll celebrate new year and going for sightseeing and shopping. I have a long list of things to buy for souvenirs to the people back home. I have just bought return tickets to Penang in March but haven't told the Professor as yet. I miss Malaysia!
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
Monday, December 29, 2008
Blog analyzer anyone?
I was cruising the net and doing blog hoping when I read about the a fun tool called The Typealyser. It was easy and fun. The web will analyze a person according the writing style of the blog. Me, I am a Mechanic.
"ISTP - The Mechanics
The independent and problem-solving type. They are especially attuned to the demands of the moment are masters of responding to challenges that arise spontaneously. They generally prefer to think things out for themselves and often avoid inter-personal conflicts. The Mechanics enjoy working together with other independent and highly skilled people and often like seek fun and action both in their work and personal life. They enjoy adventure and risk such as in driving race cars or working as policemen and firefighters."
Saturday, December 27, 2008
Time flies - He set my future
I am actually not born to be the biology scientist. Looking back into my family background, science is just a thing that my family think can divert one faith. Hehe! Even my mother was afraid that I would defy God existence because of the scientific values which I virtue so much. Nevertheless, it proved otherwise.
My family have a strong religious believe, especially from my father's side. From my mother’s, many of them are teachers. In the early days, almost everybody in both families were farmers. Even my father was a farmer. We grew paddy. Yes, that’s normal for someone who live in Kedah. Kedah is the state that’s supposed to be the biggest rice supplier to the whole country. Used to, I guessed.
My great grandfather, who created the strong pillar in my early life received his education in early 1930s and was accepted to enter Sultan Idris Training College for Malay Teachers. The only setback was that his parents were against it as he was first child in the family. Obedient he was, he set himself to be the farmer and ‘golok’ maker. I would say that he had a very creative hand, a craft maker. He was good at making ‘wau’ (big kites). The wau would be set flying for days with a string attached to it, making sound through out the day and night known as ‘dengung’. This was common those days in ealy 80's during the paddy harvesting season, once a year.
Like I said before, I do a lot of thinking even when I was a little girl. Thus, I spent a lot of times asking and listening to his lifetime story. He was born in 1913 and amongst the first batch of students in the first school of Pokok Sena, Kedah. There was nothing much happening to Pokok Sena area during Japanese occupation, only the lacked of food supply. But the communist things were really a problem as there was up until now a place name as ‘Dalam pagar’ (behind the gate). It was a place where government had set up to curb communism during emergency time.
The other interesting story was about my mother, his granddaughter who was born 2 months before the due date and how he created tools available to keep her alive because hospital was far. One was by using the young banana shoots to put her onto to avoid the young skin attached to the cotton clothes. And she was placed in the small ‘buyong’ (water container made from clay). In order to keep the baby warm, soft drink cola bottle filled with warm water were set besides her.
Nearby the house, there was a Gurkha soldiers stationed. Everyday, one of them would made short visit to see the baby while off duty. “Baby suda besar?” (Baby is getting bigger?).
My great grandfather passed away after 5 months I left home to stay at a hostel of Sultanah Asma Secondary School. It left a deep impact in my life. To analyse thing, it was like I am the last person that he needs to take care before he went to see his Creator. God Bless his souls!
All his stories stayed with me. It made me think hard especially when I was asked the question, "What would you like to be when you grow up?". After so much thought about that, I just said to myself, "I shall be the one who set the path, different from the usual life that I have seen. I just wanted to wonder out, out of ordinary". Science then become my weapon to reach the unreachable. I am glad I took the decision and now I just trust and pray hard that He will show me the successful way.
My family have a strong religious believe, especially from my father's side. From my mother’s, many of them are teachers. In the early days, almost everybody in both families were farmers. Even my father was a farmer. We grew paddy. Yes, that’s normal for someone who live in Kedah. Kedah is the state that’s supposed to be the biggest rice supplier to the whole country. Used to, I guessed.
My great grandfather, who created the strong pillar in my early life received his education in early 1930s and was accepted to enter Sultan Idris Training College for Malay Teachers. The only setback was that his parents were against it as he was first child in the family. Obedient he was, he set himself to be the farmer and ‘golok’ maker. I would say that he had a very creative hand, a craft maker. He was good at making ‘wau’ (big kites). The wau would be set flying for days with a string attached to it, making sound through out the day and night known as ‘dengung’. This was common those days in ealy 80's during the paddy harvesting season, once a year.
Like I said before, I do a lot of thinking even when I was a little girl. Thus, I spent a lot of times asking and listening to his lifetime story. He was born in 1913 and amongst the first batch of students in the first school of Pokok Sena, Kedah. There was nothing much happening to Pokok Sena area during Japanese occupation, only the lacked of food supply. But the communist things were really a problem as there was up until now a place name as ‘Dalam pagar’ (behind the gate). It was a place where government had set up to curb communism during emergency time.
The other interesting story was about my mother, his granddaughter who was born 2 months before the due date and how he created tools available to keep her alive because hospital was far. One was by using the young banana shoots to put her onto to avoid the young skin attached to the cotton clothes. And she was placed in the small ‘buyong’ (water container made from clay). In order to keep the baby warm, soft drink cola bottle filled with warm water were set besides her.
Nearby the house, there was a Gurkha soldiers stationed. Everyday, one of them would made short visit to see the baby while off duty. “Baby suda besar?” (Baby is getting bigger?).
My great grandfather passed away after 5 months I left home to stay at a hostel of Sultanah Asma Secondary School. It left a deep impact in my life. To analyse thing, it was like I am the last person that he needs to take care before he went to see his Creator. God Bless his souls!
All his stories stayed with me. It made me think hard especially when I was asked the question, "What would you like to be when you grow up?". After so much thought about that, I just said to myself, "I shall be the one who set the path, different from the usual life that I have seen. I just wanted to wonder out, out of ordinary". Science then become my weapon to reach the unreachable. I am glad I took the decision and now I just trust and pray hard that He will show me the successful way.
Wednesday, December 24, 2008
Two sides of the same coin
Like I wrote before, life and death are the two sides of the same coin. Last few days, just as my mother picked up the phone, she said she was in a hurry. Her brother in law or my uncle had just past away. And our family was going to visit him for the funeral.
I can't find any words of comfort. The last time I saw him was before I came here last year. He was always healthy, not having any disease, or a disease that is prominent in my big Malay family, diabetes. And also non of others (high blood pressure, heart disease and stomach ulcer etc.). It was said that he had bad diarheaa early morning, went for medical check up, released and past away peacefully by my aunt side in the afternoon at their home. And he was just 70 plus years old.
May God blessed his soul.
I can't find any words of comfort. The last time I saw him was before I came here last year. He was always healthy, not having any disease, or a disease that is prominent in my big Malay family, diabetes. And also non of others (high blood pressure, heart disease and stomach ulcer etc.). It was said that he had bad diarheaa early morning, went for medical check up, released and past away peacefully by my aunt side in the afternoon at their home. And he was just 70 plus years old.
May God blessed his soul.
Monday, December 22, 2008
Feeling sick because it's holidays
The title should have suggested that I'd morphed myself into one of the typical Japanese working habit, workaholic (which is good here) or I have lost my senses. Both are wrong. I love holidays. I could spend days in my apartment, lazily sit on my back, eat everything that's available and rarely have bath (pardon me, it's just because of the winter), without seeing single souls all day long. My mind alone can occupied my world, if I let it it be.
The end of year is one of the best time. I don't celebrate New Year but always looking forward for it. It is like having a new chapter of life. In Japan, they have this "furubukuro" sale. Usually the best time to shop is on the 1st of January. The sale is like heaven, well, especially in Japan where most of the things are expensive even the vegetables. The shop usually will offer discounted price for certain things that are collected together in the bag or box. As example, for 3000yen per bag from New Balance shop we can get a few items. The twist is that we don't have a clue what's inside the bag. They will probably mentioned that it will contained 1 pair of top and bottom sportwears and a winter coat with the sizes. It's fun and exciting. First the price is cheap as the original price probably cost more than 10 000 yen. And it's like lucky draw. O'tanoshimini! (Looking forward!)
But then again, this year I have plan a major experiments during this holiday season. To cut the story short, I wouldn't have so much time for myself in the apartment but will be in the lab most of the time. O' what to do? Sigh!
The end of year is one of the best time. I don't celebrate New Year but always looking forward for it. It is like having a new chapter of life. In Japan, they have this "furubukuro" sale. Usually the best time to shop is on the 1st of January. The sale is like heaven, well, especially in Japan where most of the things are expensive even the vegetables. The shop usually will offer discounted price for certain things that are collected together in the bag or box. As example, for 3000yen per bag from New Balance shop we can get a few items. The twist is that we don't have a clue what's inside the bag. They will probably mentioned that it will contained 1 pair of top and bottom sportwears and a winter coat with the sizes. It's fun and exciting. First the price is cheap as the original price probably cost more than 10 000 yen. And it's like lucky draw. O'tanoshimini! (Looking forward!)
But then again, this year I have plan a major experiments during this holiday season. To cut the story short, I wouldn't have so much time for myself in the apartment but will be in the lab most of the time. O' what to do? Sigh!
Friday, December 19, 2008
Day past by and another year is coming....
Today I had spoke for awhile with Yati. She's going to get married soon. Many of my younger friends will or had tied a wedding knot this year. Some are still looking for the best life partner. Never give up guys! Keep looking for your destiny.
Me, I am still the same Naba that people used to know. Still standing strong against all odds to face my life. This year was the hardest one. I could say that now know who I am. The deepest pain that I can endure and the deepest love that I can assured people.
Faith is the one that keep life going. Faith is like having hope but faith is more about embracing life without questions. Failure will keep us on toe but with faith as a backup, it's like to start fresh and with high determination.
Doing science experiment and being successful at one go is a way of Japanese. They like to save money and time, which is good if it is not us who are doing the thing. But according to Einstein, "Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results." Thus, if we failed the first time trial, repeat the experiment but with some alteration. And in doing so we need to understand the reason of the first time failure.
Life isn't easy but it isn't difficult either. After every rain, sometimes we can see rainbow or we can play the paper boats. Knowing to keep going during the difficult situation will be fruitful at the end of the day.
Keep out of dangerous dog. They not only knew how to bark but also to bite. Huh! ("~)
Me, I am still the same Naba that people used to know. Still standing strong against all odds to face my life. This year was the hardest one. I could say that now know who I am. The deepest pain that I can endure and the deepest love that I can assured people.
Faith is the one that keep life going. Faith is like having hope but faith is more about embracing life without questions. Failure will keep us on toe but with faith as a backup, it's like to start fresh and with high determination.
Doing science experiment and being successful at one go is a way of Japanese. They like to save money and time, which is good if it is not us who are doing the thing. But according to Einstein, "Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results." Thus, if we failed the first time trial, repeat the experiment but with some alteration. And in doing so we need to understand the reason of the first time failure.
Life isn't easy but it isn't difficult either. After every rain, sometimes we can see rainbow or we can play the paper boats. Knowing to keep going during the difficult situation will be fruitful at the end of the day.
Keep out of dangerous dog. They not only knew how to bark but also to bite. Huh! ("~)
Thursday, December 18, 2008
2008 Bonenkai - Palm reader
Every end of year, a group of people such as co-workers or students will have a party known as 'Bonenkai'. Bo means forget, which can be simplified as a gathering in order to forget the year hard work by enjoying life, drink hard.
I just had one (no liquor for me, please), this evening with the laboratory mates, all of us and the three undergraduates who just join us this akki (autumn) for 6 months. These girls are 'omoshiroi' to be around. Two are from Osaka (Yumiko and Rin) and one from Hiroshima (Akiko). Akiko-chan is a baseball player and she proved that girl can be strong (she is the one who operate the tiles cleaning machine yesterday during the cleaning day, held once a year) but beautiful and with brain. They are warm people, these girls.
And I turned into palm reader this evening. Alright, to kill the time alone that I have plenty at hand, sometimes I will just wondering around the Internet. One day, I had read my own palm using one interactive palm reader in the net. It then becomes obsession for a short while that I end up remembering the lines. Apart other people in the party, today I even read my dearest Professor's palm. I told him that he will have long live and he seems happy. The line said so and I wish so. The truth is I don't know destiny of any people, just reading for fun and it was fun. I contributed a moment of the fun part during the party, which was good.
We spent 2 hours at the Acoolique restaurant from 6pm. "Kyo-nen wa, iro-iro arigatou."
I just had one (no liquor for me, please), this evening with the laboratory mates, all of us and the three undergraduates who just join us this akki (autumn) for 6 months. These girls are 'omoshiroi' to be around. Two are from Osaka (Yumiko and Rin) and one from Hiroshima (Akiko). Akiko-chan is a baseball player and she proved that girl can be strong (she is the one who operate the tiles cleaning machine yesterday during the cleaning day, held once a year) but beautiful and with brain. They are warm people, these girls.
And I turned into palm reader this evening. Alright, to kill the time alone that I have plenty at hand, sometimes I will just wondering around the Internet. One day, I had read my own palm using one interactive palm reader in the net. It then becomes obsession for a short while that I end up remembering the lines. Apart other people in the party, today I even read my dearest Professor's palm. I told him that he will have long live and he seems happy. The line said so and I wish so. The truth is I don't know destiny of any people, just reading for fun and it was fun. I contributed a moment of the fun part during the party, which was good.
We spent 2 hours at the Acoolique restaurant from 6pm. "Kyo-nen wa, iro-iro arigatou."
Backstabber? Are they available...
Life is about surviving. To survive life, some people choose to live behind the mask. It is like to be a part of a playwright. Some will consider themselves as the directors, the cameramen or sort of actors. They keep telling themselves that they're part of the drama and the important key point of it to live a life that I do not know whether it is worth or not.
I thought that in this little world of mine here, these types of people who are manipulators of the situation do not exist. That thought was proved wrong. They are available. By taking advantages of any small hole, these people will make their ways to manipulate things. It is not difficult. Especially when lying is a part of the lifestyles. Lies will come out of the mouth just like the air that they breath. As easy as that.
At one time, I lost a so called future housemate because one of the kind did her work perfectly, to the T. I should have congratulated her for the work. It never crossed my mind though I might sense the absurdity when we had conversation about it. I just ignore until I learned the truth. The reason of she doing that, I don't know. I did not think bad about this person but I do now.
I think, before think bad about others, we should evaluate our own life. Sometimes, things that we do probably have hurt others. Thus make people behave bad to us. Do not ask people to respect you when you cannot even offer love. Love is not to be calculate, it is to be given without asking favors in return. As for me, when I give love, I will expect love in return, not some sort of betrayal.
But, in my case ,"How can I consider you as a friend when you stabbed my back with a knife? I couldn't imagine having a backstabber as a friend." Probably the best way is to stay, "We are not strangers, but do not know each other so well." I am OK with Hi and Bye-bye types of relationship. Sayonara!
p/s My great grandfather once said, we should choose our friends.
I thought that in this little world of mine here, these types of people who are manipulators of the situation do not exist. That thought was proved wrong. They are available. By taking advantages of any small hole, these people will make their ways to manipulate things. It is not difficult. Especially when lying is a part of the lifestyles. Lies will come out of the mouth just like the air that they breath. As easy as that.
At one time, I lost a so called future housemate because one of the kind did her work perfectly, to the T. I should have congratulated her for the work. It never crossed my mind though I might sense the absurdity when we had conversation about it. I just ignore until I learned the truth. The reason of she doing that, I don't know. I did not think bad about this person but I do now.
I think, before think bad about others, we should evaluate our own life. Sometimes, things that we do probably have hurt others. Thus make people behave bad to us. Do not ask people to respect you when you cannot even offer love. Love is not to be calculate, it is to be given without asking favors in return. As for me, when I give love, I will expect love in return, not some sort of betrayal.
But, in my case ,"How can I consider you as a friend when you stabbed my back with a knife? I couldn't imagine having a backstabber as a friend." Probably the best way is to stay, "We are not strangers, but do not know each other so well." I am OK with Hi and Bye-bye types of relationship. Sayonara!
p/s My great grandfather once said, we should choose our friends.
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
Politics and education
The two things that I rarely discuss are politics and education. Those two are something that stay very close to my heart but sometimes talking with the wrong person will make me sicks in the stomach. Let just say that not all people talk from brain but rather from the emotion and lack of intellectuality in giving their opinions, least to say I know in and out of the politics of Malaysia or world. It was just there are things that you considered as yours, then listening to some unsupported arguments really piss me off.
According to Wikipedia, politics is the process by which groups of people make decisions, which is true. The politicians who are elected, are representative of the ordinary citizens and also often known as lawmakers. These groups of people are the ones who will argue when certain policies or bill are tables in the Parliament. This process is cited as a process of democracy. Means that the representative is the voice of the citizens and he is bringing the mandate of everybody in the country.
I am not going to touch about the integrity of the politicians. Some supporters of any 'great' politicians in Malaysia usually talk like rubbish even when the intellectual discussion takes place. I wouldn't want to go into details. As for me, politician is a person who besides having their own agendas, they are sometimes bond to the agendas of the political party that they're attached to. And as Malaysia is still young country when compared to USA, the popularity of the individuals politician is still the main objectives of the respective politicians to stay in the limelight of the mainstreams.
My hope to the lawmakers is that, whatever they choose to do to be famous or even to be the next Prime Minister, please be careful with the education of the next generation. Playing with education for the purposes to be in the history of Malaysia is a major mistake that will take away Malaysia from it's future.
Anything looks good on paper but implementation is another story. I still remember vividly how I had to sit for UPSR on the 6th grade because my primary school was chosen as a trial school for new education system. I missed the chances to go to good school because as most other school were still taking the exams during the 5th grade, mine was one year later.
The same difficulties I had to overcome was when the faculty of my Alma mater had to cut short and cramped the classes as the ministry wanted more undergraduates to be produced in a short time. Thus many of us took 3 years schooling compared to 4 years, the initial time range. Me, myself had to take 3 years because I was thinking about the competitiveness that I need to hurdle to get a job against my one year old juniors who will graduated at the same times if I stayed for 4 years.
When we fly high we probably will forget the ground. The higher we go, we will see more of the cloud and rainbows. But, when God call us, we still need to go and see him. One fine day, my dear, we will have to come back to the ground.
According to Wikipedia, politics is the process by which groups of people make decisions, which is true. The politicians who are elected, are representative of the ordinary citizens and also often known as lawmakers. These groups of people are the ones who will argue when certain policies or bill are tables in the Parliament. This process is cited as a process of democracy. Means that the representative is the voice of the citizens and he is bringing the mandate of everybody in the country.
I am not going to touch about the integrity of the politicians. Some supporters of any 'great' politicians in Malaysia usually talk like rubbish even when the intellectual discussion takes place. I wouldn't want to go into details. As for me, politician is a person who besides having their own agendas, they are sometimes bond to the agendas of the political party that they're attached to. And as Malaysia is still young country when compared to USA, the popularity of the individuals politician is still the main objectives of the respective politicians to stay in the limelight of the mainstreams.
My hope to the lawmakers is that, whatever they choose to do to be famous or even to be the next Prime Minister, please be careful with the education of the next generation. Playing with education for the purposes to be in the history of Malaysia is a major mistake that will take away Malaysia from it's future.
Anything looks good on paper but implementation is another story. I still remember vividly how I had to sit for UPSR on the 6th grade because my primary school was chosen as a trial school for new education system. I missed the chances to go to good school because as most other school were still taking the exams during the 5th grade, mine was one year later.
The same difficulties I had to overcome was when the faculty of my Alma mater had to cut short and cramped the classes as the ministry wanted more undergraduates to be produced in a short time. Thus many of us took 3 years schooling compared to 4 years, the initial time range. Me, myself had to take 3 years because I was thinking about the competitiveness that I need to hurdle to get a job against my one year old juniors who will graduated at the same times if I stayed for 4 years.
When we fly high we probably will forget the ground. The higher we go, we will see more of the cloud and rainbows. But, when God call us, we still need to go and see him. One fine day, my dear, we will have to come back to the ground.
Monday, December 15, 2008
Weekend in Kobe
Last weekend, I went again to Kobe. However, this times it was a 'rombongan che na ke kobe' (travel with che na to Kobe). It doesn't means that I was the travel agent (huh!) but this time I went there with more than by myself, which was fun and a lot more happening. There were 6 of us including Maira-chan. She's the youngest in the group, daughter of Shima and Am, the first timer visitors for Kobe. Others were Azian and Mirza. Azian was the veteran for Kobe but Mirza was there for her second time.
We start the journey with bus and arrived there around 10.20 a.m. The weather was not so cold. That was a good thing because Maera-chan was not feeling well. She had flu past few days and was still recovering. We met Surini later in Doutour cafe, having brunch together before went off to Ikea Kobe. Su was in her office suited attire the whole day as she was planning to go for Malaysian Japan Association annual meeting which she later didn't. We then went hunting for lunch which end up fruitless because most of the restaurant that offered halal food were closed. Thus, we decided to visit the oldest mosque in Kobe, went for quick shopping and headed to Fisherman Restaurant in Haborland.
The idea for Kobe visit this time was to see 'Ruminarie' or Illumination. I missed this festival for the last 2 years. I think Yati had reminded me of 'Ruminarie' a few times as she was so impressed with this the first time she made a visit to Kobe. And Su had reminded me about it this year and I made a mental note to see for myself the 'Ruminarie', this year. It was very beautiful and we hardly can move around as there were so many people coming to see the lights.
A lot of things happened during this visit and I was very happy to be part of it. Minna-san, arigatou!
We start the journey with bus and arrived there around 10.20 a.m. The weather was not so cold. That was a good thing because Maera-chan was not feeling well. She had flu past few days and was still recovering. We met Surini later in Doutour cafe, having brunch together before went off to Ikea Kobe. Su was in her office suited attire the whole day as she was planning to go for Malaysian Japan Association annual meeting which she later didn't. We then went hunting for lunch which end up fruitless because most of the restaurant that offered halal food were closed. Thus, we decided to visit the oldest mosque in Kobe, went for quick shopping and headed to Fisherman Restaurant in Haborland.
The idea for Kobe visit this time was to see 'Ruminarie' or Illumination. I missed this festival for the last 2 years. I think Yati had reminded me of 'Ruminarie' a few times as she was so impressed with this the first time she made a visit to Kobe. And Su had reminded me about it this year and I made a mental note to see for myself the 'Ruminarie', this year. It was very beautiful and we hardly can move around as there were so many people coming to see the lights.
A lot of things happened during this visit and I was very happy to be part of it. Minna-san, arigatou!
Friday, December 12, 2008
Being the angry young woman
If you're familiar with the name James Dean, then you should knew about labelled Hollywood used for him, "The angry young man" or the movie, "Rebel without a cause." He and his short span of life and Hollywood career did make an impact up until today. There is a website under his name. He was now considered a legend that gave 'rebellious' a life. Or the Bollywood actor, Amitabh Bachchan who became famous by portraying the angry young man in half of his films. He is now 66 years old and still one of the prominent figure in Bollywood. I used to watched many of his movies when I was little.
Thus, what is the angry young man means to you? For me, it means someone who dare to live his life the way he think he should live his. In the movies, the protagonist were always shown to be suppressed but then raised from the ashes for his right against the antagonist, face to face. The dialogs were always full of heated arguments. Sometimes, he was just being angry about his life that can't be objectively defined. The idea of being rebellious is just about being angry.
So, am I going to be the angry young woman? Yes, definitely not. I have ONE good reason. I can't stand myself if I am anger over something. I hate myself if I am angry. This is because anger is a state of emotion that will send me off the blocks. It's like some big hand come and punched me on the face and then I'll be thrown across the lawn onto the brick wall. This means I will used all the energy that I have to be on that state and that state doesn't make me happy either. The situation will become even worse if I, successfully express the emotion with intense rage. That will means I will have sleepless nights and loss of appetite. By showing the anger for one time, the whole week will be a waste of energy and good life. My life is so precious. Thus, I'll always try to be an idealistic and reasonable person to avoid being the angry young woman, one of the cooling effects that seems to work so far.
Probably people see me smiling all the times and thought they can easily bullied me. Never tried that. You'll burn your hand for nothing. Never try to throw a rock into a lake. You'll stirrer the surface of the water and while doing so will waking up Loch Ness monster. Just joking! (*_*)...
Thus, what is the angry young man means to you? For me, it means someone who dare to live his life the way he think he should live his. In the movies, the protagonist were always shown to be suppressed but then raised from the ashes for his right against the antagonist, face to face. The dialogs were always full of heated arguments. Sometimes, he was just being angry about his life that can't be objectively defined. The idea of being rebellious is just about being angry.
So, am I going to be the angry young woman? Yes, definitely not. I have ONE good reason. I can't stand myself if I am anger over something. I hate myself if I am angry. This is because anger is a state of emotion that will send me off the blocks. It's like some big hand come and punched me on the face and then I'll be thrown across the lawn onto the brick wall. This means I will used all the energy that I have to be on that state and that state doesn't make me happy either. The situation will become even worse if I, successfully express the emotion with intense rage. That will means I will have sleepless nights and loss of appetite. By showing the anger for one time, the whole week will be a waste of energy and good life. My life is so precious. Thus, I'll always try to be an idealistic and reasonable person to avoid being the angry young woman, one of the cooling effects that seems to work so far.
Probably people see me smiling all the times and thought they can easily bullied me. Never tried that. You'll burn your hand for nothing. Never try to throw a rock into a lake. You'll stirrer the surface of the water and while doing so will waking up Loch Ness monster. Just joking! (*_*)...
Thursday, December 11, 2008
Nihon go again?
Reason for me posting the 'angry' post about Japanese language or Nihon go was because of my dearest Professor. One of the reasons.
He invited all the lab members for lunch last Monday to celebrate his friend, a Professor from Kyushu who came to gave lectures. At one point he was happy to introduce the other two students as capable of speaking Japanese (and the introduction was also in Nihon go, as if I don't understand it at all). Off course they do. Both of them were from the regular PhD course that had the opportunity to study Japanese language for 6 months. One of them is still taking the classes.
So, why I am not taking the classes? I am from the English Phd course, a special course approved by the Mombusho or Ministry of Education. It was only compulsory for me to attend 3 hours classes per week for 12 months. And my Professor is not the one who like his students to linger around outside the laboratory, if you understand what I mean. If you don't understand, in Japan the new students are treated like kindergarten children. It's not something bad as this is in their culture. I was monitored like kid for about 1 year until recently, when he had new attachment student in our lab. Forgot to mention that this situation happened in almost laboratory under old school professor. But some may not like that. So, do not worry so much if you are coming to Japan for research study. You'll get used of it after sometimes.
My point is if you do not allowed the student to study Japanese language, how on earth do you expect them to be good in it? It's like if you do not eat, you will never get full.
He invited all the lab members for lunch last Monday to celebrate his friend, a Professor from Kyushu who came to gave lectures. At one point he was happy to introduce the other two students as capable of speaking Japanese (and the introduction was also in Nihon go, as if I don't understand it at all). Off course they do. Both of them were from the regular PhD course that had the opportunity to study Japanese language for 6 months. One of them is still taking the classes.
So, why I am not taking the classes? I am from the English Phd course, a special course approved by the Mombusho or Ministry of Education. It was only compulsory for me to attend 3 hours classes per week for 12 months. And my Professor is not the one who like his students to linger around outside the laboratory, if you understand what I mean. If you don't understand, in Japan the new students are treated like kindergarten children. It's not something bad as this is in their culture. I was monitored like kid for about 1 year until recently, when he had new attachment student in our lab. Forgot to mention that this situation happened in almost laboratory under old school professor. But some may not like that. So, do not worry so much if you are coming to Japan for research study. You'll get used of it after sometimes.
My point is if you do not allowed the student to study Japanese language, how on earth do you expect them to be good in it? It's like if you do not eat, you will never get full.
Huh! Learn kanji in 2 days?
Other people might say that I am cool having living here without knowing a single word of Japanese language and not able to read kanji. No, I am not cool. In reverse, I never feel safe if I'm outside the house or if not in the laboratory. The only two places that I feel I belong to. The other places, hard to say.
Alright, probably now I can understand a little whenever people speak to me. It is like in one long sentence, I can recognized 2 or 3 words and based on that I try to make up the meaning. Sometimes I'll ask another questions to make sure that I get it right. It is not easy as when we pop up a question, the answer could make us more confuse.
It's not that I am lazy to study Japanese. It was that "language" is not to be studied. For some people, it's like eating nuts. For me, it's like hiking the mountain, Himalaya maybe. I took 30 years to be confident to be able to converse in English. So, when I was sent here and expected to understand this language overnight, it's really frustrated. Yes, some people really made me sad as they do not understand my conditions. I was without any knowledge of Japanese language and Japan prior to me coming here. Even the words kanji reminds me of a rice soup. So, when you're in battling over the culture, the never understand types of Professor, the never finished laboratory works, missing a soulmate, missing friends, and yet people expect me to learn Japanese language in one go. What I am? A robot? Malaysians students who are send here with 2 years experiences of learning Japanese language, kanji writing and some culture should feel gratitude to the programme. You're learning something that I can only wish I had.
But, as I am expected to be strong, wise and cool, so I am trying to be one. I'll get myself over the language barrier before I go home for good. Am I? Huh! 8-/
Alright, probably now I can understand a little whenever people speak to me. It is like in one long sentence, I can recognized 2 or 3 words and based on that I try to make up the meaning. Sometimes I'll ask another questions to make sure that I get it right. It is not easy as when we pop up a question, the answer could make us more confuse.
It's not that I am lazy to study Japanese. It was that "language" is not to be studied. For some people, it's like eating nuts. For me, it's like hiking the mountain, Himalaya maybe. I took 30 years to be confident to be able to converse in English. So, when I was sent here and expected to understand this language overnight, it's really frustrated. Yes, some people really made me sad as they do not understand my conditions. I was without any knowledge of Japanese language and Japan prior to me coming here. Even the words kanji reminds me of a rice soup. So, when you're in battling over the culture, the never understand types of Professor, the never finished laboratory works, missing a soulmate, missing friends, and yet people expect me to learn Japanese language in one go. What I am? A robot? Malaysians students who are send here with 2 years experiences of learning Japanese language, kanji writing and some culture should feel gratitude to the programme. You're learning something that I can only wish I had.
But, as I am expected to be strong, wise and cool, so I am trying to be one. I'll get myself over the language barrier before I go home for good. Am I? Huh! 8-/
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
Out of focus
Today is one of the day where my 'senses' take control over me. In the day like today, I'll be overwhelmed with unknown emotions which stirred the 'coolness' in me. It is actually an ordinary day but somehow I will feel like there are or is unfinished business somewhere. The mind is not functioning to the normal level. Sometimes, I can get the daily work done without much trouble but it is usually not in total alertness as my brain is working to tell the 'senses' that there is nothing to be worried about. If the person close to me is around, they probably will notice that I am quite agitated on the day like this. I just thank God that today, the day is almost end.
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
Another winter
Winter is here. Another season that will send me to hibernation. But, I want to enjoy the season this time around. It is impossible to have winter in Malaysia besides the "recreational winter" that can be found in the family recreational area. We have all year sunny and rainy days. Winter can be called a dream for most Malaysians. My younger brother is hoping to come here next winter for his honeymoon. Which means that he will have to wait for another 10 months after his wedding this coming March.
Yeah! I will embrace winter. It's cold but if I can find enough heat within me, it might work. Probably even the White Witch couldn't touch me for fear of melting, huh! ("/)...
Yeah! I will embrace winter. It's cold but if I can find enough heat within me, it might work. Probably even the White Witch couldn't touch me for fear of melting, huh! ("/)...
Monday, December 8, 2008
Live a good life
If I would live up until 75 years old, then I am now at the middle of my life journey. A long way to go but I always pray that it would be worth it while. The past half saw many ups and downs in my life. The ups were good and the downs were eventually had became good too, in memories. As a person who believe that life is a school, I do take everythings that happen as a lesson to be learn. Or spiritually, a way to remind me of the Great One up there.
Bad moments are awfully painfull. Especially while we're facing it. However, when it pass me and I am far up front, it will turn itself into memories. As I love thinking, I will take all the time that I need to evaluate it and at the end it will become a subject of self improvement.
In reality, another 30 years plus is not long. Live a good life, I say. Who knows, I probably can even make it to 100 years.
Bad moments are awfully painfull. Especially while we're facing it. However, when it pass me and I am far up front, it will turn itself into memories. As I love thinking, I will take all the time that I need to evaluate it and at the end it will become a subject of self improvement.
In reality, another 30 years plus is not long. Live a good life, I say. Who knows, I probably can even make it to 100 years.
Saturday, December 6, 2008
Food and cooking
The least that I wanted to do when I was little is to cook. I thought (from what I saw by looking at my mother) it was a boring thing to do. Probably it was true to my dearest mother who was the only woman in the family at the moment who can cook. The other girl, which happened to be me was so small and gave a lot of attention and so busy playing out door games with the boys. By the way, forgot to mentioned that I got two younger brothers and all the other children in our neighborhood, my contemporaries, were coincidentally all boys. Thus, cooking was not in their agendas and so did mine. We had to follow the flock to stay friends, right?
But then again, when I went and stayed in the hostels, eating suddenly became my beloved activity. I was in the half prep all girls school. As my house was quite far and my parents thought that I could used the time that I would take travelling studying in the hostel, so I stayed. The administration for the hostels provided us 6 times meals. Wow! At home, busy with playing I rarely had time to eat. Somehow, I changed my perspective about eating. (I'll tell my experience about dining in that hostel later).
Let me told you about one time when I refused to eat dinner at home. I couldn't remember the number of times I skipped meals prior to that incident but my parents were so angry (or concerned) that night because I was not eating properly. My father dragged me down while I was watching the television, put me on the chair of dinner table while him, standing with a stick behind me and my mother scooped me rice. I had my dinner that way that night. After the incident I will eat as little as possible every meals time though I don't want to eat to avoid such conditions again. That memory put a smile on my face every time I think of it. How much they love me? You tell me.
Back to the original story. Because I love eating, I eventually learn to cook. At first reluctantly as guided by my mother. She would asked me to assist her in the kitchen where I would asked all sorts of questions. Then she let me tried my hand at cooking. Somehow, after sometimes cooking just came natural to me. I could just eat some dishes in the restaurant, recognized the taste and tried my hand making it at home. I got enough experiences in cooking especially when I live on my own for about 7 years doing undergraduate and master course somewhere far from home.
My friend once said whoever that is able to cook are able to do lab work, especially biological lab work as it need certain types of hands to make it. But I believe, everyone can cook as long as they have their heart in it. Cooking is actually the act of love. ("_)
But then again, when I went and stayed in the hostels, eating suddenly became my beloved activity. I was in the half prep all girls school. As my house was quite far and my parents thought that I could used the time that I would take travelling studying in the hostel, so I stayed. The administration for the hostels provided us 6 times meals. Wow! At home, busy with playing I rarely had time to eat. Somehow, I changed my perspective about eating. (I'll tell my experience about dining in that hostel later).
Let me told you about one time when I refused to eat dinner at home. I couldn't remember the number of times I skipped meals prior to that incident but my parents were so angry (or concerned) that night because I was not eating properly. My father dragged me down while I was watching the television, put me on the chair of dinner table while him, standing with a stick behind me and my mother scooped me rice. I had my dinner that way that night. After the incident I will eat as little as possible every meals time though I don't want to eat to avoid such conditions again. That memory put a smile on my face every time I think of it. How much they love me? You tell me.
Back to the original story. Because I love eating, I eventually learn to cook. At first reluctantly as guided by my mother. She would asked me to assist her in the kitchen where I would asked all sorts of questions. Then she let me tried my hand at cooking. Somehow, after sometimes cooking just came natural to me. I could just eat some dishes in the restaurant, recognized the taste and tried my hand making it at home. I got enough experiences in cooking especially when I live on my own for about 7 years doing undergraduate and master course somewhere far from home.
My friend once said whoever that is able to cook are able to do lab work, especially biological lab work as it need certain types of hands to make it. But I believe, everyone can cook as long as they have their heart in it. Cooking is actually the act of love. ("_)
Friday, December 5, 2008
Be happy!
The famous quote amongst my younger friends in USM was "It's all in the mind". It was the overrated one sentence which was used in almost all occasion especially if one feel bad about thyself. At one point 'Being Happy', a self help book by Andrew Matthews was becoming hot topics of discussion. It was all about us at that time trying to live a happy life after being burned with unstoppable laboratory's works.
Living a happy life is not only a dream of some people but almost everybody trying to find it. Today, a googled on "how to be happy" gave returns of 27,900,000 hits. Is it really difficult to be happy? My answer is yes if we do not know how to be gratitude.
As for me, I am trying my very best to live a happy life. I believe it is there in our self. We just need to look or keep looking for it. Being contend and looking at the unfortunate people will be one of them. Just look at the food that we throw away each day and compare to the people who have to wait and die while waiting for the food to reach them. Actually, anyone who can read this post is lucky. You have hands and eyes. Be gratitude each day and live happily. Sure, life is no justice and once a while something bad might happened. Furthermore, we are not in heaven yet. But, look at the brighter side. We will never appreciate happy moment if there is no bad moment. I am glad I am still alive.
Living a happy life is not only a dream of some people but almost everybody trying to find it. Today, a googled on "how to be happy" gave returns of 27,900,000 hits. Is it really difficult to be happy? My answer is yes if we do not know how to be gratitude.
As for me, I am trying my very best to live a happy life. I believe it is there in our self. We just need to look or keep looking for it. Being contend and looking at the unfortunate people will be one of them. Just look at the food that we throw away each day and compare to the people who have to wait and die while waiting for the food to reach them. Actually, anyone who can read this post is lucky. You have hands and eyes. Be gratitude each day and live happily. Sure, life is no justice and once a while something bad might happened. Furthermore, we are not in heaven yet. But, look at the brighter side. We will never appreciate happy moment if there is no bad moment. I am glad I am still alive.
Thursday, December 4, 2008
"I bullied because I can"
In my previous post about Utopia online gaming, I was talking about one player who accused me of being difficult before leaving the game. This post is about the recent event that take place.
Every three months, the game will be reset and you'll have new opportunity to rename the team or change the kingdom. I like my kingdom so much that I've stayed there for about 5 ages. So, it's like I've been playing the game for more than 1 year.
Every kingdom randomly will be set to a number. Let say group x:yy, is kingdom number x in yy island. In yy island there are like 20 or more groups. We have this group who are the biggest in the island and they acted like the biggest jerk that I've ever known.
There is one guy who smacked one of their member and they wanted to retaliate against him. (This was all happened in a game in the internet).That's fine with me. This little guy run away from his previous kingdom and landed peacefully at ours. But they didn't want to let him go. Their king message my king. Unfortunately, our king had a little crisis of his own in real life. His aunt was diagnosed as having blood aneurysm in the brain and at the moment is fighting for her life and the recent prognosis from the doctors is that she wouldn't make it.
Thus, our King explained the situation and said he'll check if the little guy who just landed in our kingdom was as bad as the jerk king accused him to be. The jerk king gave our king 12 hours to straight things up. To make the matters even worst and finally stamped the jerk king bad as a person was when he said that the real life problems of our king have nothing to do with the game. That's correct but can he at least try to understand the life and death situation of the living people outside the Net. He's surely has a mother or probably someone who dear to him. What if that situation happened to him, something like life and death problems maybe? My guess is that the jerk king has no family or from a defunct family. That's the only reason to explain his response. He even mentioned that he bullied our kingdom because he can. If he's 17 years old, I wish him the very best for his future. I can only see blank coming.
This is the real story and it did happened in a game. I am learning more about human as day goes by through this game. Thank God I did not play this game in real life with real people, with bunch of boys or men. Sigh! I can imagine some blood flowing from his nose and black eyes. Our king mentioned something about having a meet up if he stayed in 25km radius.
Every three months, the game will be reset and you'll have new opportunity to rename the team or change the kingdom. I like my kingdom so much that I've stayed there for about 5 ages. So, it's like I've been playing the game for more than 1 year.
Every kingdom randomly will be set to a number. Let say group x:yy, is kingdom number x in yy island. In yy island there are like 20 or more groups. We have this group who are the biggest in the island and they acted like the biggest jerk that I've ever known.
There is one guy who smacked one of their member and they wanted to retaliate against him. (This was all happened in a game in the internet).That's fine with me. This little guy run away from his previous kingdom and landed peacefully at ours. But they didn't want to let him go. Their king message my king. Unfortunately, our king had a little crisis of his own in real life. His aunt was diagnosed as having blood aneurysm in the brain and at the moment is fighting for her life and the recent prognosis from the doctors is that she wouldn't make it.
Thus, our King explained the situation and said he'll check if the little guy who just landed in our kingdom was as bad as the jerk king accused him to be. The jerk king gave our king 12 hours to straight things up. To make the matters even worst and finally stamped the jerk king bad as a person was when he said that the real life problems of our king have nothing to do with the game. That's correct but can he at least try to understand the life and death situation of the living people outside the Net. He's surely has a mother or probably someone who dear to him. What if that situation happened to him, something like life and death problems maybe? My guess is that the jerk king has no family or from a defunct family. That's the only reason to explain his response. He even mentioned that he bullied our kingdom because he can. If he's 17 years old, I wish him the very best for his future. I can only see blank coming.
This is the real story and it did happened in a game. I am learning more about human as day goes by through this game. Thank God I did not play this game in real life with real people, with bunch of boys or men. Sigh! I can imagine some blood flowing from his nose and black eyes. Our king mentioned something about having a meet up if he stayed in 25km radius.
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
Humor versus seriousness
Reading for motivation or self improvement is always my favourite pastime besides the thriller or who-do-it kind of styles writing. Thus, somehow I had subscribe to an emailing list of Dr Tony Alessandra. I can't say much about him because I have no idea who he is (his website said he is a business strategist) but some of the materials that I received through the email were good.
Today he remind me about the ability to laugh at yourself, which means to not take yourself too seriously. However, it does not means that we do not take the job or the responsibility lightly. It was just to be humorous when talking will make the conversation more interesting and the person look better on the eyes of others. Too serious will hamper the mood. Sometimes end up being protective. And that's the end of further development of a relationship.
I think I was quite defensive. It was around 15 years ago when I was first introduced to the term 'laughing at yourself'. It simplified a lot of thing in my life. By understand the power of humor, I then used humor to get to know other people. It wasn't easy for me as I'm born introvert. Sometimes, I have to leverage myself before I had enough strength to be the joker of the party. Yes, I had more friends now than 15 years ago. The numbers of friends that I have now would be less if I stay the way I was. I think so. Seriously.
Today he remind me about the ability to laugh at yourself, which means to not take yourself too seriously. However, it does not means that we do not take the job or the responsibility lightly. It was just to be humorous when talking will make the conversation more interesting and the person look better on the eyes of others. Too serious will hamper the mood. Sometimes end up being protective. And that's the end of further development of a relationship.
I think I was quite defensive. It was around 15 years ago when I was first introduced to the term 'laughing at yourself'. It simplified a lot of thing in my life. By understand the power of humor, I then used humor to get to know other people. It wasn't easy for me as I'm born introvert. Sometimes, I have to leverage myself before I had enough strength to be the joker of the party. Yes, I had more friends now than 15 years ago. The numbers of friends that I have now would be less if I stay the way I was. I think so. Seriously.
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
Backside of coins
Life and death are related two each other. It's like death is the backside of a coins to life which provides balance to the world. And I sound like a script writer to an opening episode of 'Ghost Whisperer', huh!
Anyhow, life always work wonders and peculiar. I was told last three days ago that my cousins who is 33 years old, married with young son is confirmed as having colon cancer. He was previously admitted because he had some difficulty with his stomach and later the doctors said it was a tumor, benign. After the second operation, the latest diagnosed, it was cancer.
He is 33 years old! Even my mother said it is really an age where people get excited about life. I hope his prognosis is good. I have not yet get in touch with them, his family, since the news. Not that I don't care but I am just out of words. What are we supposed to say to a person who is diagnosed with colon cancer?
Anyhow, life always work wonders and peculiar. I was told last three days ago that my cousins who is 33 years old, married with young son is confirmed as having colon cancer. He was previously admitted because he had some difficulty with his stomach and later the doctors said it was a tumor, benign. After the second operation, the latest diagnosed, it was cancer.
He is 33 years old! Even my mother said it is really an age where people get excited about life. I hope his prognosis is good. I have not yet get in touch with them, his family, since the news. Not that I don't care but I am just out of words. What are we supposed to say to a person who is diagnosed with colon cancer?
Monday, December 1, 2008
Laksa
Laksa is one of my 100 favourites food. Especially Laksa Utara. It is a food that consist of rice noodle with fish soup and eaten with salad. Preparing the soup is easy but we need some special herbs that can be find in Southeast Asian. The two that is most important is bunga kantan or siantan (Torch Ginger Bud or in Latin, Etlingera elatior) and daun kesum (viatnamese coriender or Polygonum hydropiper in Latin). Abg Saru brought it from Malaysia, and thanks to K Ann and Ina for supplying it to him.
Yesterday, I made it and invited a few friends to my house. Kasai san, the organizer of Mikan gari (picking orange activities) was specially invited as he mentioned that he love to eat. The other guests were Mamik and family, Dewi and family and the singles, Azian, Mirza and Mira. Shima and family came after all the other guests had gone home. Tokunaga sensei who is supposed to come couldn't make it.
Actually, the party was for my birthday but I guessed they already forgot about my birthday as it was two weeks ago and I haven't mentioned a single soul about it. Hahaha! Anyhow, I enjoy having the all the guests yesterday and wish that they were also happy coming to my house.
Yesterday, I made it and invited a few friends to my house. Kasai san, the organizer of Mikan gari (picking orange activities) was specially invited as he mentioned that he love to eat. The other guests were Mamik and family, Dewi and family and the singles, Azian, Mirza and Mira. Shima and family came after all the other guests had gone home. Tokunaga sensei who is supposed to come couldn't make it.
Actually, the party was for my birthday but I guessed they already forgot about my birthday as it was two weeks ago and I haven't mentioned a single soul about it. Hahaha! Anyhow, I enjoy having the all the guests yesterday and wish that they were also happy coming to my house.
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